Telltale Kitchen Lyrics - Singles - Eric Schwartz

The bananas lookin brown except for where I left that sticker 

And the spice rack is empty cept for cinnamon, salt and pepper 

The tea in the jar is ten years old, Lemon Lint and Chamomold 

And the coffeepot is stickin to the maker, 

Which is stickin to the counter 

Soup-can sentinels guard the pre-colonial cupboard 

With hibernating honey, tins of tuna and cardboard crackers 

And now the brand new honey with the angel face 

Wants to come over and see my place 

And chewin on a grape slash raisin I mull it over 

But I know it would kill the deal 

If she saw my Achilles heel 

Telltale Kitchen 

If you want her to stay you best keep her away 

Telltale kitchen 

Telltale kitchen 

The microwave is broken 

The smoke detectors smokin 

Telltale kitchen 

Over in the fridge the mustard, catsup, mayonnaise and butter 

Have formed an uncanny resemblance to each other 

And the prehistoric bagels in the bag in the back 

Are hiding from the dairy on the death row rack 

As the fish flavored iceberg spawns upstream in the freezer 

You would think that the sink wouldnt stink 

''cause it looks like its hardly been used 

But who knows what grows in the disposal 

After years of beers half drunk get dumped 

And no-ones fixin the water pump 

Telltale Kitchen 

If you want her to stay you best keep her away 

Telltale Kitchen 

Telltale Kitchen 

If you are what you eat 

Im maggoty meat 

Telltale Kitchen 

The blenders on a bender fermenting the remainder 

Of a porridge of origin too ancient to remember 

But mercifully the rubber cap is permanently stuck there 

So the substrate self-perpetuates ad-nauseinfinitum 

My ego is an ego sequestered in the freezer 

Like an Eskimo they leggo for bein a grumpy geezer 

And the trough-full of drosophila assaulting the falafel 

Make the Amityville horde look like a hospital ward 

Telltale kitchen 

If you want her to stay you best keep her away 

Telltale kitchen 

Telltale kitchen 

The garbage had grown 

A bouquet of its own 

Telltale kitchen