Keep Your Jesus Off My Penis Lyrics - Singles - Eric Schwartz

CHORUS: 

Keep your Jesus off my penis 

Keep your bible off my balls 

Keep your prayers out of my ears 

And your crosses off my walls 

You can keep the virgin mother 

And the resurrection too 

Keep your Jesus off my penis 

Ill keep my penis offa you 

Well, Im frickin sick and tired 

Of turning on the news 

And seeing the religious rights ungodly fight 

To take our right to choose 

When to bear our children 

Who to love and how 

Education and protection, if were just practicing for now 

So W, look, obey a book 

If thats what works for you 

But I dont tell you how to pray 

So dont you tell me how to screw! 

CHORUS 

So youre screaming bloody murder about the Taliban regime 

For subjugating women and being too extreme 

And basing legislation on some ancient, holy book 

Does that sound a bit familiar? 

Heres a mirror, have a look! 

And as for the Ten Commandments, they need one more, at least 

Thou shalt never cover up the acts of pervert priests 

Now howd they let that happen 

Unless they just abhor us? 

Well, anyway, it adds another layer to the chorus! 

CHORUS 

So youll execute a person and then protect the single cell 

But mercy kill the terminally ill and youre going straight to Hell? 

Well, I dont know much about the word of God, far be it from me 

But I can tell you what it aint, thats hypo-Christianity 

Well, I am not anti-Christian, before you grab a rope 

There is beauty in religion 

And joy and love and hope 

And were all lookin for that answer 

Some colossal, cosmic cause 

But who the fuck are you to turn your views into my laws? 

Its just believers in the bible that would have abortion banned 

Anti-choice agnostics, I could count em on one hand 

And as for killing babies, Ive got but one retort: 

If someone raped your daughter, George, youd beg her to abort 

And if some young girl from your church shows up with child or some infection 

'cause you told her what a horrid sin it was to use protection 

Well, one day youll face the pearly gates 

And what you gonna say 

When that long-haired, Jewish peacenick sends your ass the other way 

Sayin keep your Jesus off my penis 

Keep your bible off my balls 

Keep your prayers out of my ears 

And your crosses off my walls 

Ive had it up to here with all the biblobile you spew 

So keep your Jesus off my penis 

Well, at least thats what I would do 

Yeah, keep your Jesus off my penis 

Ill keep my penis off of you 

Thats ifn you want me to