First Redneck On The Internet Lyrics - Singles - Cledus T. Judd

Well, Lordy, mercy, I's in a mess 

My wife run off with my TV set 

Didn't bother me none that she had to go 

'Cept I's gonna miss all my TV shows 

So I looked up to heaven, got down on my knees 

An' I cried, "Dear Lord, will you help me, please?" 

"I need a TV by tomorrow night 

'Cos Rick Flare's involved in a talent fight" 

Well I guess my tytheing finally paid off 

'Cos early next mornin' shoulda seen what I saw 

Reached in my over horse for my inhaler 

'Cos there's a big brown box there, right in my trailer 

I used my truck keys, cut open the box 

I was hopin' for a Sony or a Micro box 

I looked at the name and thought, "Oh my gosh! 

This must be a new one called Macintosh" 

Well my last TV was a whole lot wider 

But this'n here come with its own typewriter 

It had all the letters from A to Z 

I guess, you just type in what you wanna see 

Well I thought I punched up, "W.W.F." 

But the TV Screen said World Wide Web 

Then I broke out in a cold, cold sweat 

I's the first redneck on the Internet 

He was the first red neck on the Internet 

A bona fide, countrified, cyber-threat 

He went on line just one time 

And now they won't forget 

The first redneck on the Internet 

It was all so new, I shoulda taken my time 

But I slammed that mouse up in four-wheel drive 

Last time I did so much pointin' and clickin' 

I had a .22 rifle shootin' at chickens 

Then, all of a sudden it occurred to me 

The power I had with this fancy TV 

I could get back at my ex-wife 

With the touch of a button, I could ruin her life 

So I got the number off her Mastercard 

I bought a new lift kit and four new tyres 

Then, I got on line to her bank account 

Went ahead and closed that sucker out 

I had her power and her water shut, slap, off 

The I sent an E-mail to her dead plain boss 

Lettin' him know that she told me 

She'd have his job by the end of the week 

He was the first red neck on the Internet 

A bona fide, countrified, cyber-threat 

He went on line just one time 

And now they'll never forget 

(Won't forget) 

The first redneck on the Internet 

Now the moral of the story, as a matter of fact 

In a couple of days I got my TV back 

She said, She'd like to come back, as well 

I told her to go straight to AOL 

Now, thank the Lord that the UPS 

For droppin' that box at Cledus' address 

If they ever wanna find him, it won't take long 

Type www.cledus.com 

To reach the first red neck on the Internet 

A bona fide, countrified, cyber-threat 

He went on line just one time 

And now they'll never forget 

(Won't forget) 

He was the first red neck on the Internet 

The first red neck on the Internet 

Hey buck, p'preciate your help, you are the man 

World Wide Web, population four zillion, Cy hoot