270 Somethin' Lyrics - Singles - Cledus T. Judd

You know a man does have to eat him somethin' 

I love candy bars, eat them all the time 

My combo meal's are super sized 

And I crave the stuff they put inside those dang ding dongs 

My cholesterol is off the chart 

I keep a blood pressure cuff on my left arm 

Doctor says that, My poor heart won't last too long 

My nickname in school was double wide 

'Cause my momma fried 

Now I weigh 270 somethin' 

Always huffin' and puffin 

Lay around the house all day 

No wonder I can't lose no weight 

See that pizza on the TV 

Oh man' don't it look cheesy 

You know they deliver here for nothin' 

That's why I weigh 270 somethin' 

My insurance said that they'd Co pay 

I made the same appointment Carnie Wilson made 

Plastic surgeon said he had a way to get those love handles off 

He stapled and sucked stuff through a tube 

I lost a hundred pounds in one afternoon 

When I came to in the recovery room, wouldn't much left of me 

When he removed the bandages from my thighs 

I couldn't believe my eyes 

Now I weigh 180 somethin' 

Didn't have to do much of nothin' 

I'm lookin' like Jean Claude Van Dame 

To fit in a pair Mark Wills' pants 

Now everyone who sees me 

Can't believe that I'm so skinny 

My body fat is nearly nothin' 

Now that I weigh 180 somethin' 

Now I date a model with a GED 

But do you think she'd be with me 

I wonder if I 

Still weighed, 270 somethin' 

Stuffin' down blueberry muffins 

Onion rings and cans of SPAM 

That's how I got so fat 

Now everyone who sees me 

Can't believe that I'm so skinny 

I used to break a sweat just doin' nothin' 

Back when I weighed 270 somethin' 

Now I weigh 180 somethin' 

Well it's probably like more like around 225-26 

None of y'all's business how much I weigh