Threw It On The Ground Lyrics - Turtleneck & Chain - The Lonely Island

I was walkin' through the city streets 

And a man walks up to me and hands me the latest energy drink 

"Run faster, jump higher" 

Man, I'm not gonna let you poison me 

I threw it on the ground 

You must think I'm a joke 

I ain't gonna be part of your system 

Man! Pump that garbage in another man's face 

I go to my favorite hot dog stand 

And the dude says, 

"You come here all the time! Here's one for free." 

I said, "Man! What I look like? A charity case?" 

I took it and threw it on the ground! 

I don't need your handouts! 

I'm an adult! 

Please! 

You can't buy me hot dog, man! 

At the farmer's market with my so called girlfriend 

She hands me her cell phone, says it's my dad 

Man, this ain't my dad! 

This is a cell phone! 

I threw it on the ground! 

What, you think I'm stupid? 

I'm not a part of your system 

My dad's not a phone! 

DUH! 

Some poser hands me cake at a birthday party 

Whatcha want me to do with this? Eat it? 

Happy birthday to the ground! 

I threw the rest of the cake, too! 

Welcome to the real word, jackass! 

So many things to throw on the ground 

Like this, and this, and that, and even this 

I'm an adult! 

Two Hollywood phonies try to give me their autograph 

Ground! 

Nobody wants your autograph, phonies! 

Then the two phonies got up 

Turned out they had a taser 

And they tased me in the butt-hole 

Fell to the ground 

The phonies didn't let up 

Tasin' on my butthole over and over 

I was screamin' and squirmin' 

My butt-hole was on fire 

The moral of the story is 

You can't trust the system 

Man!