After Party Lyrics - Turtleneck & Chain - The Lonely Island

[ANDY SAMBERG] 

After the club is the after party 

After the party is the hotel lobby 

After that, you know it's diamond Cris 

And after that, I say, 'Excuse me, miss' 

And after that, we goin' back to the room 

And after that, she's gonna leave real soon 

And after that, I crack one more beer 

And after that, I just stare in the mirror 

And after that, I start freakin' out 

What the hell am I doing with my life? 

Call up my mom and get my cry on 

I order room service, get my apple pie on 

And after that, I just walk the streets 

A homeless dude throws up on my feet 

And I see just how pointless life is 

Full on existential crisis 

Tear off my clothes and scream at the sky 

Fall to my knees and ask God, 'why?' 

[SANTIGOLD] 

This nightlife is killing me 

I think I'm losing my mind 

I yearn to fly, yet I sink 

Stalling tears is my dream 

[ANDY SAMBERG] 

After that, I drive into the hills 

And trade my car for a bottle of pills 

And after that, I'm on a vision quest 

Put my mind, body, and spirit to the test 

And after that, I meet my totem spirit 

It's a rattlesnake, so I have to kill it 

Then I drink all his blood and steal his powers 

Slither around in the dirt for hours 

And after that I start jerking off 

Up on a mountain, jerking off 

Down by the river, jerking off 

And that's when I have my epiphany 

You can't spend your whole life jerking off 

And after that, I'm going back to the city 

[SANTIGOLD] 

This nightlife is killing me 

No more jerking off 

Fate only knows what's in store 

Stalling tears for me, no more 

[ANDY SAMBERG] 

And after that, I clean up my life 

Join AA to make it right 

And after that, I get my thirty day chip 

And after that, I go celibate 

And after that, I'm a whole new man 

Brew complimentary in my hybrid van 

I give my life to meditation 

Then sleep with a whore at a Greyhound station 

And after that, I have a full relapse 

Then lose my hand in a game of craps 

And after that, everyone calls me Claw 

And after that, I work for Tim McGraw (Hey!) 

And after that, I pass out in a sewer 

Meet a giant fish, fuck his brains out 

And after, that I'm filled with shame 

No one but myself to blame 

Nothing in my heart but pain 

And next week we're gonna do it again! 

[SANTIGOLD] 

This nightlife carves hooks in me 

I'm back to jerking off 

I tried but could not break free 

Stalling tears return to me 

Started in the club 

Then he moved to the Hills 

Really freaked out and drank snake blood 

Got himself clean 

Now back in the club 

And that's where I've been in this song 

But it's stalling tears 

This playboy life's too much for me 

[ANDY SAMBERG] 

After the club is the after party 

After the party is the hotel lobby 

Stuck in a cycle I just can't win 

And after that, it all happens again