Half A Man Lyrics - Singles - Stephen Lynch

All my days 

I live with my disgrace 

I'm afraid to show my face 

Or at least take off my underwear 

See I was born 

Like a half way neutered pet 

I don't have a matching set 

It's a part of me 

That just aint there 

Please, don't stare 

Well I'm a gambling man with out two dice 

I'm like Uncle Ben with only one grain of rice 

Oh to have two testis would be so nice 

But I'm half a man 

Yeah, I'm half a man 

Wanna die 

end it all, just call it quits 

I can't find a cup that fits 

And at baseball games I feel so dumb 

When I hear "ball one" 

Oh, my God 

How could you have been so cruel 

To give me one family jewel 

And the one that's there must feel so sad 

He's a lonely nad 

Well I'm a marathon runner with just one leg 

I'm a fallopian tube with just one egg 

Oh, I want another testi 

Do I have to beg? 

I'm half a man 

Well I'm a tweedle dee with no tweedle dum 

And I'm a Siskel and an Ebert with just one thumb 

And I'm a Yo Ho Ho with no bottle of rum 

I'm just half a man 

Yeah, I'm half a man