Hustler Hall Of Fame Lyrics - Mickey Avalon - Mickey Avalon

The road to the top through cross guards and hard knocks 

Copper penny times and endless city blocks 

Thieves straight as they never been crooked rent-a-cops 

Shooting craps in the back of vacant city lots 

Free-range circus acts and worthless facts 

Dancing in my solar soggy bowl of dick and smack 

Fist-fucking fagots at the White on gym mats 

Rats run the wire while I'm looking for a match 

I go back and forth just like a cameo song 

Honeys wanna love me but the line is too long 

I make 'em take a number, wake 'em from their slumber 

What you know about Mickey? He's a bad motherfucker 

Truckers get my digits off the stalls of rest stops 

I'm sick on the microphone like smallpox 

Wild-eyed babies go crazy when I rock 

Blind old ladies into diabetic shock 

'Cause it's all the same when they call my name 

Mickey Avalon, hustler hall of fame 

There ain't no ball and chain to hold me down 

I got a golden smile and a platinum frown 

'Cause it's all the same when they call my name 

Mickey Avalon, hustler hall of fame 

There ain't no ball and chain to hold me down 

I got a golden smile and a platinum frown 

I flow like an acrobat, go tell your manager 

That Mickey Avalon ain't no motherfuckin' amateur 

I fly flicks with my dick at your camera 

I rip the stick out my girl's Porsche Carrera 

I brought your whole formula, just warmin' up 

Storm the front line and then I find a spot for lunch 

Toxic-proof punch when the loot comes 

Rocket boosters with my boots on 

Underneath the tundra reach out for the Thundercats 

Holds no better than this brother act 

I ripped the rubber mats out your lover's pad 

And kicked your mother's ass right in front of your dad 

Last night, a brass pipe and a flashlight 

Smashed my crown and left me down with a black eye 

The bad guy, walking over landmines 

Who can't die but still cried? 

'Cause it's all the same when they call my name 

Mickey Avalon, hustler hall of fame 

There ain't no ball and chain to hold me down 

I got a golden smile and a platinum frown 

'Cause it's all the same when they call my name 

Mickey Avalon, hustler hall of fame 

There ain't no ball and chain to hold me down 

I got a golden smile and a platinum frown 

Leave your gods and your politics back at home 

'Cause I just wanna drink and be left alone 

I gotta girl who likes to talk my ear off, see 

So when I'm at the bar stay away from me 

Don't ask for a smoke or to make some change 

I don't care about your kid or your menstrual pains 

You can call me rude but I like my solitude 

And we don't need to chat while we're playing pool 

So stay cool, mister, I wasn't lookin' at your sister 

That snuggle toothed sea hag, lips all blistered 

Now rack the balls while I'm in the stall 

Pissin' out vodka and walkin' up the walls 

I turn off the ringer when my lady calls 

Don't point your finger unless you want a brawl 

I chalk up my cue and sink the eight ball 

Then reach into my pocket and light a Pall Mall 

'Cause it's all the same when they call my name 

Mickey Avalon, hustler hall of fame 

There ain't no ball and chain to hold me down 

I got a golden smile and a platinum frown 

'Cause it's all the same when they call my name 

Mickey Avalon, hustler hall of fame 

There ain't no ball and chain to hold me down 

I got a golden smile and a platinum frown