Ex-boyfriend Lyrics - Singles - Lil Dicky

Ey what's going on man? 

It's your boy Lil Dicky 

A.K.A Mr. Left-ward sloping penis 

I got a story for y'all man 

Peep this 

Yessir 

Now I been datin this girl named Katie, she hot as hell 

And her body crazy, vagina shaven and it dont smell 

And I don't fall for chickens 

But this one a little different 

Body sickening 

Plus she really good at making breaded chicken 

Got me thinkin she the one man 

Even fully clothed, shawty really fun man 

Get a lotta hoes, but none of those come close 

I swear this the most that I've felt so damn exposedddd 

Oh yeah there's one more thing 

And I know this shit gonna sound insane 

But I still haven't hit it 

I admit it, I wish I was kidding 

Never been up inside before 

Because shes only fucked one guy before 

And though I really wanna boink this whore 

She ma sweetie 3.14 

So I'm stayin patient, and masterbating 

And now ma heart is sorta racing 

Cuz she said tonight will be the night we do some fornicating 

Hell yeah, I'm down, I'm bout to go all out 

I'm gonna pound that crazy, like an elaborate black man handshake 

But on the way to crib, we pass this kid 

And he seem to know who Katie is 

So I say "who this" and she say 

Dicky, this is my ex boyfriend Jim" 

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And I ain't usually the one to be the jealous type 

But as I'm lookin at this dude I can't believe my eyes 

Cuz he's the best looking guy that I've seen in my whole life 

He's got the thickest head of hair, chiseled jaw, an egregious bod 

Man this the closest thing I've seen to a Grecian god 

And now I'm lookin at ma chick, cuz his dick's been inside her rawww 

Awww damn 

Man this is crazy 

I can't believe this guy used to fuck ma lady 

I bet he left that pussy ravaged like Haiti 

Katie's huggin and squeezing his shoulder blades 

And I'm buggin and queasy, this ain't okay 

And then they say, "let's get drinks" so I say okay 

Even though I was about to get laid! 

Man this mafucka look like Ashton 

Combined wit a lil Hugh Jackman 

In other words, he's so damn attractive 

So damn tan he gotta have a little black in him 

Now I'm in the back wit him, sippin on some 'gnac wit him 

And he payin for it all, he investment bankin... 

I'm acting, like i ain't distracted 

But I'm reenacting him and Katie bangin 

And now I'm feelin pissed, so I go and take a piss 

Mid stream, I look left and guess who it is 

And I had to see, and I was mad discrete 

And I got on my tippy toes and I took a little peek 

Oh my god becky, look at that cock 

Photos 

And I ain't usually the one to be the jealous type 

But as I'm lookin at his dick, I can't believe me eyes 

Because he's got the biggest cock that I've seen in my whole life 

And now I'm starin at this dude's soft dick with a lotta hate 

Because the shit is plus 8 like Jon and Kate 

And I don't know if I can date ma girl after tonighttttt 

Aw damn 

I don't know what to do 

Dude's dick is really huge 

I didn't realize a penis could be so smooth 

I know she's missin that 

My penis isn't that 

I'm lookin closer I think that his dick has abs 

Six pack on a dick 

Now what the fuck is that 

It's so long and thick 

It's like a punching bag 

I'm sayin it's so shaven, head is amazing 

Got ma dick looking like a raisin 

Skin tone insane, man he's hung like Saddam Hussein, it's crazy 

What the fuck should I do? 

He gotta Ruth's Chris dick, and mine's a drive thru... 

I think it's time to 

Tell Katie ma goodbyes 

Cuz I simply can't survive 

After seeing what was in between his thighs 

So I tell her 

That this dude's gotta dick that I don't comprehend 

I had to move ma neck to see it end to end 

I mean the physics of his dick just don't make any sense 

And I think it's for the best if this comes to an end 

Because the sex with him must have been the best 

And I would say let's just be friends 

But I think I would just think about his dick all the time, so goodbye 

Then she told me Dicky I don't really know what to say 

Because I dated this dude in second grade 

So I don't know about his dick, now let's go home and get you laid 

And then I took her to ma crib, and you know that we belly slapped 

And I gave her an O like I was selling crack, and when I came 

I pulled out and nutted all over her left thigh 

And upper mid-section region 

You can call that the pelvis 

Some would even call that the pubic bone 

Leave the pubes at home 

Making this up on the spot 

Fuck you know about it 

I'm about to go paper-mache my own dick and ride it