The Biggest Ball Of Twine In Minnesota Lyrics - Uhf (movie Soundtrack) - Weird Al Yankovic

Well, I had two weeks of vacation time coming 

After working all year down at 'Big Roy's Heating And Plumbing' 

So one night when my family and I were gathered 'round the dinner table 

I said, "Kids, if you could go anywhere in this great big world now 

Where'd you like to go ta?" 

They said, "Dad, we wanna see the biggest ball of twine in Minnesota" 

They picked the biggest ball of twine in Minnesota 

So the very next day we loaded up the car 

With potato skins and pickled wieners 

Crossword puzzles, Spider-Man comics 

And mama's home made rhubarb pie 

Pulled out of the driveway and the neighbors 

They all waved good-bye and so began our three day journey 

Related 

Songs You Love If You Love Nerds 

Listen To Taylor Swift's New Song 'Call It What You Want' 

Watch Sam Smith And Fifth Harmony Join James Corden For Carpool Karaoke 

We picked up a guy holding a sign that said, "Twine ball or bust" 

He smelled real bad and he said his name was Bernie 

I put in a Slim Whitman tape, my wife put on a brand new hair net 

Kids were in the back seat jumping up and down 

Yelling, "Are we there yet?" 

And all of us were joined together in one common thought 

As we rolled down the long and winding interstate in our '53 DeSoto 

We're gonna see the biggest ball of twine in Minnesota 

We're headin' for the biggest ball of twine in Minnesota 

Oh, we couldn't wait to get there 

So we drove straight through for three whole days and nights 

Of course, we stopped for more pickled wieners now and then 

The scenery was just so pretty, boy I wish the kids could've seen it 

But you can't see out of the side of the car 

Because the windows are completely covered 

With the decals from all the places where we've already been 

Photos 

Like Elvis-O-Rama, the Tupperware Museum 

The Boll Weevil Monument and Cranberry World 

The Shuffleboard Hall Of Fame, Poodle Dog Rock 

And The Mecca of Albino Squirrels 

We've been to ghost towns, theme parks, wax museums 

And the place where you can drive through the middle of a tree 

We've seen alligator farms and tarantula ranches 

But there's still one thing we gotta see 

Well, we crossed the state line about 6: 39 

And we saw the sign that said, "Twine Ball exit, fifty miles" 

Oh, the kids were so happy they started singing 

"99 Bottles Of Beer On The Wall" for the twenty-seventh time that day 

So, we pulled off the road at the last chance gas station 

Got a few more pickled wieners and a diet chocolate soda 

On our way to see the biggest ball of twine in Minnesota 

We're gonna see the biggest ball of twine in Minnesota 

Finally, at 7: 37 early Wednesday evening 

As the sun was setting in the Minnesota sky 

Out in the distance, on the horizon 

It appeared to me like a vision before my unbelieving eyes 

I parked the car and walked with awe-filled reverence 

Toward that glorious, huge, majestic sphere 

I was just so overwhelmed by its sheer intensity 

I had to pop myself a beer 

Yes, on these hallowed grounds, open ten to eight on weekdays 

In a little shrine under a makeshift pagoda 

There sits the biggest ball of twine in Minnesota 

I tell you, it's the biggest ball of twine in Minnesota 

Oh, what on earth would make a man decide to do that kind of thing? 

Oh, windin' up twenty-one thousand, one hundred forty pounds of string 

What was he trying to prove? Who was he trying to impress? 

Why did he build it? How did he do it? It's anybody's guess 

Where did he get the twine? What was goin' through his mind? 

Did it just seem like a good idea at the time? 

Well, we walked up beside it and I warned the kids 

"Now, you better not touch it, those ropes are there for a reason" 

I said, "Maybe if you're good, I'll tie it to the back of our car 

And we can take it home", but I was only teasin' 

Then we went to the gift shop and stood in line 

Bought a souvenir miniature ball of twine 

Some window decals and anything else they'd sell us 

And I bought a couple postcards 

"Greetings from the twine ball, wish you were here" 

Won't the folks back home be jealous? 

I gave our camera to Bernie and we stood by the ball 

And we all gathered 'round and said, "Cheese" 

The Bernie ran away with my brand new Instamatic 

But at least we got our memories 

So we all just stared at the ball for a while 

And my eyes got moist but I said with a smile 

"Kids, this here's what America's all about" 

Then I started feelin' kinda gooey inside 

And I fell on my knees and I cried and cried 

And that's when those security guards threw us out 

You know, I bet if we unraveled that sucker 

It'd roll all the way down to Fargo, North Dakota 

'Cause it's the biggest ball of twine in Minnesota 

I'm talkin' 'bout the biggest ball of twine in Minnesota 

Well, we stayed that night at the Twine Ball Inn 

In the morning we were on our way home again 

But we really didn't want to leave, that was perfectly clear 

I said, "Folks, I can tell you're all sad to go" 

Then I winked my eye and I said 

"You know, I got a funny kind of feelin' 

We'll be comin' back again next year" 

'Cause I've been all around this great big world 

And I can't think of anywhere else I'd rather go ta 

Than the biggest ball of twine in Minnesota 

I said the biggest ball of twine in Minnesota 

Minnesota, Minnesota, Minnesota