Whittlin' Man Lyrics - The Craig Machine - Stephen Lynch

In the woods of Northern Michigan he made his home 

Didn't ask much from the world, just wanted to be alone 

And got his first real blade at thirteen thats when it all began 

and soon the creatures of the forest called him whittlin' man 

yeah 

he whittled all day and he whittled all night 

he whittled whittled whittled everything in sight 

he whittled on a stick 

he whittled on his shoe 

and if you come too close he'll whittle you too 

keep a safe distance if you can 

cause you're never safe around whittlin' man 

had a stump to sit on 

had some wood, had his trusty knife 

whittled out a house, a car 

and he whittled himself a wife (such a beautiful wife) 

whittled out four kids, a swimming pool and a big leer jet 

and so he wouldn't miss saved by the bell, well he whittled a T.V. set 

yeah 

he whittled if its light, and he whittled if its dark 

and if no one was around well he'd whittle in the nark 

he'd whittle something new and he'd whittle something old 

he'd whittle some hot and he'd whittle some rather chilly 

keep a safe distance if you can 

because you're never safe around whittlin' man 

break it down 

some say whittlin' man's a genius, still others say he's just dumb 

he whittled off a foot an ear, three fingers and his left thumb 

boy is he dumb 

that won't stop him, no it won't 

he'll whittle through thick and thin 

once he's whittled everything, he'll just whittle it all again 

yeah 

he whittled if it was white, and he whittled if its black 

and he whittled on a duck til the duck can't quack 

he whittled if it was dry and he whittled if its juicy 

whittled on Desi and he whittled on Lucy 

whittled JFK and he whittled Jackie O 

whittled old Larry and Curly and Moe 

and he whittled Frank Zappa and he whittled Tipper Gore 

whittle whittle whittle til he can't no more 

whittled Shamu and he whittled on Jaws 

whittled The Easter Bunny and he whittled Santa Claus 

and whittle whittle whittle just fast he can 

whittle till he's dead, he's whittlin' man