Beelz Lyrics - The Craig Machine - Stephen Lynch

(Intro) 

I figured since I wrote a song about you know God and Jesus and all that I would have to give the opposition equal time. 

(Song) 

Ever since first man has walked this Earth I have been here 

To whisper seeds of doubt and evil thoughts into his ear 

I am the beast, the outcast angel fallen from on high 

I go by many names by there is one you cannot deny 

My name is Satan, hi everybody! 

Ahh, let me tell you a little about myself 

My friends all call me old scratch and I am a Capricorn 

My turn ons are romantic walks and killing the unborn 

I've got little devil horns, and a little Goatee, 

little devil eyes to help a little devil see 

little cloven hoofs that make it kinda hard to ski 

I'm Satan, Woo Hoo! 

Mephistopheles 

My real name is Beelzebub, but you can call me Beelz 

I love to watch Fox news and then go club some baby seals 

Then I'll take a bubble bath and drink a Zinfandel 

Try to wash off that baby seal smell 

And then I'll make a toast to me 

Hey, here's to my hell.. 

Th My name is Satan. Ah Hah! 

To carry on my evil ways I went and had a son 

And now he makes his living as a singing comedian 

I'm in every Zeppelin album 

I'm in all Rush Limbaugh's rants 

I'm the reason that the Boston Red Sox even had a chance 

And if I want to eat your soul, I'll just throw it on a griddle. 

I don't need to make a deal, I don't need to tell a riddle 

And fuck Charlie Daniels I don't care if he can fiddle 

I'm Satan. 

The Devil went down to Georgia, he was looking for a soul to steal 

That's fucking bullshit because I wouldn't be caught dead in Georgia 

Ok, it's like Oh my God! 

Six, Six, Six! 

(outro) 

Satan! Look, that's just how I picture him. You fucking think of whatever you want.