Mixer At Delta Chi Lyrics - The Craig Machine - Stephen Lynch

It's College time again 

September's almost here 

Hanging with freshmen girls 

Frat party kegs of beer 

I see a girl I'm wanting 

mixer at delta chi 

we take some oxycontin 

dave matthew gettin' high 

and then as I undress her 

and start my stimulus 

she says but wait professor 

this wasn't on the syllabus 

I'm the bad professor 

I'm the bad professor 

A tenured titty caresser 

I'm a bad, bad man 

Tutor her at my apartment 

turns into a slow dance 

Hey baby, what's your minor I've got your major in my pants 

I've got your student body 

She wants a better grade 

I say if you roll over I'll throw in financial aid 

I hope you've boned up for your midterm 

If you want, I can help you cram 

Don't give a shit about the essay 

So let's skip it and get to the oral exam 

I'm a bad professor 

that's a blow job reference 

I'm a bad professor 

Your money's on the dresser 

I'm a bad, bad man