F**k Everything Lyrics - Singles - Jon Lajoie

Yo. All the rappers claim to not give a fuck. 

Well step aside bitches, cause I give the lowest amount of fuck humanly possible. 

What?! 

(I don't a give a fuck...) 

About anything, fuck everyone and fuck everything, what 

(I don't give a fuck...) 

I literally don't give a fuck about anything 

I don't give a fuck about motherfuckin' anything 

People care about shit, I say fuck everything 

Fuck you, fuck me, fuck the sky, fuck trees, fuck the sun 

I don't need heat or Vitamin D! 

And fuck toasters, I don't need to cook my bread 

And fuck coasters, I use a little plate instead 

And fuck roosters, with their useless cockadoodledoo 

We invented alarm clocks. We no longer need you 

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Don't give a fuck about chairs. I prefer to stand 

And fuck air conditioners - I got a ceiling fan 

And fuck the the movie the fan, starring Wesley Snipes 

Demolition man's the only Snipes movie i liked 

And fuck liking shit. I don't even like the stuff that I like 

Don't give a fuck about not liking all the shit I don't like 

Like tissues. Fuck them! I blow my nose on the couch 

And fuck my nostrils and my sense of smell, I breathe through my mouth 

Don't give a fuck about seeing bitch, fuck my eyes 

Fuck visual perception yo, I'd rather be blind 

Fuck time, seconds are too short and minutes are a joke 

And hours are way too long, they should be half an hour at most 

And fuck coasts, who gives a fuck about where water meets land 

And fuck boats, just because you float you think you're so fucking bad 

And fuck jokes, I don't need to be funny all the time 

My dog has a tumor and he's probably gonna die, but... 

Photos 

(I don't a give a fuck...) 

About anything, fuck everyone and fuck everything, what 

(I don't give a fuck...) 

I literally don't give a fuck about anything 

Walked into a coffee shop and ordered a cup 

The girl says "small, medium, large?" 

I say "bitch I don't give a fuck" 

She said "I can't process your order if you don't pick a size" 

I said "fine, I'll take a large, but I still don't give a fuck, alright?" 

Don't give a fuck about beverage size options motherfucker 

And I don't give a fuck about liquids either 

They're all wet and shit and tend to spill all over the place 

Like human semen when I get it all over my face 

I'm not gay, I just don't give a fuck about straight sex 

And fuck my dick, I'll pee and cum out of my mouth instead. 

Fuck biological functions, fuck the human body 

I prefer the body of a bat with the head of a coyote 

I call myself batyote and I fight crime at night 

I know its similar to batman but motherfuck copyright 

I plagiarize all the time, I do it everyday 

Cause I'm on the right track baby, I was born this way 

And fuck birth, entering the world of space & time is a bitch 

Searching for purpose in the random universe sucks dick 

Is it deterministic or am I free to choose my way 

Did I choose to not give a fuck about ice cube trays 

If I want ice I'll go to the fucking corner store and buy a bag 

Filling you up and waiting for the water to freeze is a motherfucking drag 

You know what? Fuck the word fuck, I don't need to use it 

I'll replace it with the word chainsaw for this (I don't a give a chainsaw...) 

About anything, chainsaw everyone and chainsaw everything, what 

(I don't give a chainsaw...) 

I literally don't give a chainsaw about anything 

If there was a contest to see who doesn't give a fuck the most 

I wouldn't win cause I don't give a fuck about winning yo 

I don't even give a fuck about not giving a fuck, 

so I do give a fuck... wait, what? 

(I give a fuck...) 

About everything, I love everyone and care about everything 

(I give a fuck...) 

I literally care about every motherfucking thing