Role Model Lyrics - Slim Shady Lp - Eminem

Okay, I'm going to attempt to drown myself 

You can try this at home 

You can be just like me 

Mic check one two, we recording? 

I'm cancerous so when I diss you wouldn't want to answer this 

If you responded back with a battle rap you wrote for Canibus 

I strangle you to death then I choke you again 

And break your fucking legs till your bones poke through your skin 

You beef with me, I'mma even the score equally 

Take you on Jerry Springer and beat your ass legally 

I get too blunted off of funny home grown, 'cause when I smoke out I hit the trees harder than Sonny Bono 

So if I said I never did drugs, that would mean I lie and get fucked more than the President does 

Hilary Clinton tried to slap me and call me a pervert 

I ripped her fucking tonsils out and fed her sherbet 

My nerves hurt, and lately I'm on edge 

Grabbed Vanilla Ice and ripped out his blond dreads 

Every girl I ever went out with has gone les 

Follow me and do exactly what the song says 

Smoke weed, take pills, drop out of school, kill people and drink 

Jump behind the wheel like it was still legal 

I'm dumb enough to walk in a store and steal 

So I'm dumb enough to ask for a date with Lauryn Hill 

Some people only see that I'm white, ignorin' skill 

'Cause I stand out like a green hat with a orange bill 

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But I don't get pissed, y'all don't even see through the mist 

How the fuck can I be white? 

I don't even exist 

I get a clean shave, bathe, go to a rave, die from an overdose and dig myself up out of my grave 

My middle finger won't go down, how do I wave? 

And this is how I'm supposed to teach kids how to behave? 

Now follow me and do exactly what you see 

Don't you want to grow up to be just like me? 

I slap women and eat 'shrooms then OD 

Now don't you want to grow up to be just like me? 

Me and Marcus Allen went over to see Nicole 

When we heard a knock at the door, must have been Ron Gold 

Jumped behind the door, put the orgy on hold 

Killed them both and smeared blood in a white Bronco 

My mind won't work if my spine don't jerk 

I slapped Garth Brooks out of his rhinestone shirt 

I'm not a player, just a ill rhyme sayer that'll spray a aerosol can up at the ozone layer 

My rap style's warped 

I'm running out the morgue with your dead grandmother's corpse to throw it on your porch 

Jumped in a Chickenhawk cartoon with a cape on 

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And beat up Foghorn Leghorn with an acorn 

I'm about as normal as Norman Bates with deformative traits 

A premature birth that was four minutes late 

Mother, are you there? 

I love you 

I never meant to hit you over the head with that shovel 

Will someone please explain to my brain that I just severed a main vein with a chainsaw and I'm in pain? 

I take a breather and sigh, either I'm high or I'm nuts 

'Cause if you ain't tilting this room, neither am I 

So when you see your mom with a thermometer shoved in her ass, then it probably is obvious I got it on with her 

'Cause when I drop this solo shit, it's over with 

I bought Cage's tape, opened it and dubbed over it 

I came to the club drunk with a fake ID 

Don't you want to grow up to be just like me? 

I've been with 10 women who got HIV 

Now don't you want to grow up to be just like me? 

I got genital warts and it burns when I pee 

Don't you want to grow up to be just like me? 

I tie a rope around my penis and jump from a tree 

You probably want to grow up to be just like me