Merry F@#%in' Christmas Lyrics - Singles - Dennis Leary

Old Saint Nick's got Bourbon breath 

It's so cold you could catch your death 

A cop sold me some crystal meth 

It's a merry fuckin' Christmas 

Everything's so Criss-muss-ee 

The streets are twinkling with frozen pee 

My priest just sat on Santa's knee 

It's a merry fuckin' Christmas 

All the kids go to bed each night 

To dream what Santa brings 'em 

Unless they're Jewish or Muslim 

Or some other gyp religion 

Crappy toys flyin' off the shelves 

Midgets dressed up to look like elves 

Spread good cheer or burn in Hell 

It's a merry fuckin' Christmas 

Cracklin' fires to keep me warm 

And my collection of Asian porn 

Cradle my bells and work my horn 

It's a keep-on-truckin' 

Last-year-suckin' 

Midget-chuckin' 

Slap-the-puckin' 

How-much-wood-could-a-woodchuck-chuckin' 

Merrrry fuuuuckin' Christmaaaaaas