Northern Birds Lyrics - Singles - Adam Kay & Suman Biswas

This is a national service announcement for all men 

If you go to Bolton 

If you go to Manchester 

Or crewe 

Newcastle, or Scarborough 

York, or Scunthorp, Bradford, Barnsley too 

or Grimsby 

Listen up to what we have to say 

Northern birds are lazy ugly whores who smell of burgers 

So dont have too much to drink 

or you might fuck one 

and end up getting aids 

Theres nothing fun 

To be found off the M1 

Northern birds are lower class 

Slags who take it up the arse 

They're in the sack 

after one cider and black 

but they're fucking awful rides 

and your dick won't touch the sides 

Da-da-da-da-da-da 

da-da-da-da 

Northern Birds 

Da-da-da-da-da 

If you really have to 

Go up north then follow our advice 

Fight away the women 

Or you'll find yourself with Pubic lice 

And herpes 

Your much better staying in the South 

Northern Birds 

are desperate ugly hippos dressed in Burberry 

With a peanut for a brain 

And an accent that makes you want to die 

Now you've been warned 

Theyre all physically deformed 

Northern birds 

are all obese 

and theyre riddled with disease 

Try to escape 

Northern sex is worse than rape 

Stay down south and mark my words 

Stear well clear of northern birds 

Northern birds 

Northern birds