The Song For Phil Daoust Lyrics - Singles - Tim Minchin

This is a song for Phil Daoust: 

occasional Guardian Newspaper journal-oust. 

I never ever ever mentioned your name, 

or the review that you wrote, when I was new to this game. 

But now the time has come, 

I think I've dealt with my feelings at last. 

I really wanna forgive ya Phil, 

yeah I wanna put the past in the past-a 

Oh and as this is such a big tour, I thought I outta take the opportunity. 

'Cause there's a pretty good chance somebody out there will know you, 

Maybe they will pass on a message for me. 

Just wanna say, Phil Daoust, occasional Guardian Newspaper journal-oust, 

That it's been three years since you wrote it, and time is very healing. 

But I still wanna cut big chunks of flesh out of your stupid face and make your children watch while I force you to eat them. 

Yeah I wanna make your children watch you eat your own face-meat. 

Ding Dang Ding Dang Dong, 

This is my Phil Doust Song, 

Everybody sing along, 

La la la la la la la, 

I hope one of your family' members dies. 

Phil, Ding Dang Dong. 

I've written you this special song, 

to help you get the attention - 

you obviously, desperately lack. 

And I know that you're a smart man, 

and with such a fine mind, I guess it has to be hard- 

To resist throwing narcissistic, intellectual tantrums in the supermarket aisles of your self-regard. 

Just wanna say, Phil Daoust, I know it must be really hard to be a journal-oust. 

What with deadlines always looming, and the pressure to be entertaining. 

So maybe you should quit and get a job that you'd be better at - like killing yourself, you fucking cunt. 

Ding Dang Ding Dang Dong, 

This is my Phil Doust Song, 

Everybody sing along, 

Tra la la la la la la, 

I hope something you love catches on fire. 

Phil, Ding Dang Dong. 

I've written you this special song, 

to show how far I've come along - 

in my efforts to be more mature in the face of negative feedback. 

You fucking poo-face.