Rock N Roll Nerd Lyrics - Singles - Tim Minchin

He doesn't have a problem with drugs 

He just doesn't get them 

He's fine that his mates have tattoos 

But he thinks they'll regret them 

He likes going to pubs, but he hates it when the musics too loud 

He tends not to go to rock concerts, cos he can't stand the crowds 

And all he's ever wanted to be 

Is a rock star on MTV 

But he knows that it's not fucking likely 

He's just turned 30 

He knows that he, will always be 

A Rock and roll nerd 

He'll keep writing songs the world will never hear 

And though they won't be heard he'll just keep writing (oh yeah) 

But you see the problem is 

He always dreamt of being a star, 

But he learnt piano instead of guitar 

Which in the 90s didn't get you very far 

So while the other kids were learning Stairway 

He was the piano to their forte 

But he was convinced one day he's rock their fucking asses 

And be an icon for the disenfranchised masses 

And grow his hair long 

And rebel against the state 

But just for now that's have to wait 

Cos he's running late 

For his morning classes 

And he will always be 

A rock and roll nerd 

He'll keep playing gigs that no-one knows about 

And though it sounds absurd he'll just keep playing (oh yeah) 

But you see the problem is 

There's not much depth in what he's singing 

He's a victim of his upper middle class upbringing 

So he can't write about the hood or bling bling 

So he sits and imagines his girlfriend is dead 

To try and invoke some angst in his middle class head 

But the bitch is always fine, at half past nine 

When they go to bed 

And he hasn't spent a single night in prison, 

He has no issues with nutrition 

He has no drinking problem and no drug addiction 

Unless you count the drugs they put in chicken 

And marijuana always tends to make him cough 

He doesn't look good with his t shirt off 

And when he tries to act tough 

You can tell he's trickin' 

(babalabababababa) 

And while his mates all go out late 

Popping pills and having fun 

He goes home and showers 

And gets a good 8 hours 

He gets his thrills from his morning run 

And while his mates 

All go on dates 

Taking speed and drinking cans of Jim Beam 

He stays home and cooks 

Curls up with a book with a girl he's had 

Since he was 17 

Cos he's never really been 

Part of the scene 

Give him Guns N Roses 

He'll take Queen 

He's more into Beatles, than the stones 

He's more Stevie Wonder than Ramones 

And he's never owned a Transit Van 

He never shot a Panterra fan 

He doesn't know the difference between metal and thrash 

He couldn't tell you nothing about Axl and Slash 

He likes Ben Folds and the Jackson 5 

He knows all the words to Staying Alive 

And though he wants to seem all grungy and cool 

He spent eleven years at a (motherfucking) private school 

Cos no matter how he tries 

He cannot hide behind his rock and roll lies 

Cos you've either got it or you don't 

Yeah you'll either rock or you won't 

Yeah you've either got it or you don't 

Yeah you'll either rock or you won't 

You've either got it or you don't, don't you know 

He knows that his music lacks depth, but it just can't be helped 

He has nothing interesting to say, so he writes about himself 

But he doesn't want to seem self obsessed, so he writes in third person 

In an attempt to seem more rock and roll 

But he suspects it's not working 

And deep in his heart he knows he 

Will never be Bono or Bowie 

And even if he was quite pretty 

With small pants like Kylie 

He knows he will always be 

A rock and roll nerd 

He'll keep writing songs the world don't care about 

And though they won't be heard he'll just keep writing 

Oh yeah 

You can criticize him 

But he won't care 

Cos he wants to rock 

And he will never be deterred 

But he'll always be a fucked up little 

Try-hard wannabe 

Rock and roll nerd