Billericay Dickie Lyrics - The Complete Studio Albums Collection - Ian Dury

Good evening, I'm from Essex 

In case you couldn't tell 

My given name is Dickie 

I come from Billericay 

And I'm doing very well 

Had a love affair with Nina 

In the back of my cortina 

A seasoned-up hyena 

Could not have been more obscener 

She took me to the cleaners 

And other misdemeanours 

But I got right up between her 

Rum and her Ribena 

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Well, you ask Joyce and Vicky 

If candy-floss is sticky 

I'm not a blinking thicky 

I'm Billericay Dickie 

And I'm doing very well 

I bought a lot of Brandy 

When I was courting Sandy 

Took eight to make her randy 

And all I had was shandy 

Another thing with Sandy 

What often came in handy 

Was passing her a mandy 

She didn't half go bandy 

So, you ask Joyce and Vicky 

If I ever took the mickey 

I'm not a flipping thicky 

I'm Billericay Dickie 

And I'm doing very well 

Photos 

I'd rendez-vous with Janet 

Quite near the Isle of Thanet 

She looked more like a gannet 

She wasn't half a prannet 

Her mother tried to ban it 

Her father helped me plan it 

And when I captured Janet 

She bruised her pomegranate 

Oh, you ask Joyce and Vicky 

If I ever shaped up tricky 

I'm not a blooming thicky 

I'm Billericay Dickie 

And I'm doing very well 

You should never hold a candle 

If you don't know where it's been 

The jackpot is in the handle 

On a normal fruit machine 

So, you ask Joyce and Vicky 

Who's their favourite brickie 

I'm not a common thicky 

I'm Billericay Dickie 

And I'm doing very well 

I know a lovely old toe-rag 

Obliging and noblesse 

Kindly, charming shag from Shoeburyness 

My given name is Dickie 

I come from Billericay 

I thought you'd never guess 

So, you ask Joyce and Vicky 

A pair of squeaky chickies 

I'm not a flaming thicky 

I'm Billericay Dicky 

And I'm doing very well 

Oh golly, oh gosh 

Come and lie on the couch 

With a nice bit of posh 

From Burnham-on-Crouch 

My given name is Dickie 

I come from Billericay 

And I ain't a slouch 

So, you ask Joyce and Vicky 

About Billericay Dickie 

I ain't an effing thicky 

You ask Joyce and Vicky 

I'm doing very well