The Kids Lyrics - The Marshall Mathers Lp - Eminem

And everyone should get along 

Okay children, quiet down, quiet down 

Children, I'd like to introduce our new substitute teacher for the day 

His name is Mr. Shady 

Chidren, quiet down please 

Brian, don't throw that (shut up) 

Mr. Shady will be your new substitute while Mr. Kaniff is out with Pneumonia (he's got AIDS) 

Good luck Mr. Shady 

Hi there, little boys and girls (fuck you) 

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Today we're going to learn how to poison squirrels 

But first I'd like you to meet my friend Bob (huh?) 

Say hi, Bob 

Hi Bob 

Bob's 30 and still lives with his mom 

He don't got a job cause Bob sits at home and smokes pot 

But his 12 year old brother looks up to him an awful lot 

And Bob likes to hang out at the local waffle spot 

And wait in the parking lot for waitresses off the clock 

When it's late and the lot gets dark and fake like he walks his dog 

Drags them into the woods and goes straight to the chopping block 

And even if they escaped and they got the cops 

The ladies would all be so afraid they would drop the charge 

'Til one night Mrs. Stacy went off the job 

When she felt someone grab hold of her face and said not to talk 

But Stacy knew it was Bob and said knock it off 

But Bob wouldn't knock it off cause he's crazy and off his rocker 

Crazier than Slim Shady when he'soff the vodka 

You couldn't even take him to Dre's to get Bob a doctor 

Grabbed Stace by the legs as he chopped them off her 

And dropped her off in the lake for the cops to find her 

But ever since the day Stacy went off to wander they never found her 

And Bob still hangs at the waffle diner 

And that's the story of Bob and his marijuana 

And what it might do to you 

So see if the squirrels want any, it's bad for you 

See children, drugs are bad (come on) 

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And if you don't believe me ask your dad (raise your hand) 

And if you don't believe him ask your mom (that's right) 

She'll tell you how she does them all the time (she will) 

So kids say no to drugs (that's right) 

So you don't act like everyone else does (uh huh) 

And there's really nothing else to say (sing along) 

Drugs are just bad, m'kay? 

My penis is the size of a peanut 

Have you seen it? 

Fuck no you aint seen it 

It the size of a peanut (huh?) 

Speaking of peanuts 

You know what else is bad for squirrels? 

Ectasy, it's the worst drug in the world 

If someone ever offers it to you, don't do it 

Kids, two hits'll probably drain all your spinal fluid 

And spinal fluid is final, you won't get it back 

So don't get attatched it'll attack every bone in your back 

Meet Zach, 21 years old 

After hanging out with some friends at a frat party, he gets bold 

And decides to try five when he's bribed by five guys 

And peer pressure will win every time you try to fight it 

Suddenly, he starts to convulse 

And his pulse goes into hyperdrive 

And his eyes roll back in his skull 

His back starts to, look like the McDonalds arches 

He's on Donald's carpet 

Laying horizontal barfin' 

And everyone in the apartment starts laughing at him 

"Hey Adam, Zach is a jackass, look at him." 

Cause they took it too, so they think it's funny 

So they're laughing at basically nothing 

Except maybe wasting their money 

Meanwhile Zach's in a coma 

The action is over, and his back and his shoulders hunched up like he's practicing yoga 

And that's the story of Zach: The Ecstasy maniac 

So, don't even feed that to squirrels, class, cause it's bad for you 

See children, drugs are bad (that's right) 

And if you don't believe me ask your dad (that's right) 

And if you don't believe him ask your mom (you can) 

She'll tell you how she does them all the time (she will) 

So kids say no to drugs (smoke crack) 

So you don't act like everyone else does (that's right) 

And there's really nothing else to say (uh huh) 

Drugs are just bad, m'kay? 

And last but not least 

One of the most humongous 

Problems among young people today is fungus 

It grows from cow manure 

They pick it out, wipe if off, bag it up 

And you put it right in your mouth and chew it 

Yum, yum 

And then you start to see some dumb stuff 

And everything slows down when you eat some of 'em 

And sometimes you see things that aren't there (like what?) 

Like fat women in g-strings with orange hair 

Mr. Shady, what's a g-string? 

It's yarn Clair, women stick them up their behinds go out and wear them 

And if you swallow too much of the magic mushrooms 

Whoops, did I say magic mushrooms? I meant fungus 

Your tounge gets 

All swolled up, like a cow's tongue (How come?) 

Cause it comes from a cow's dung 

See drugs are bad, it's a common fact 

But your mom and dad know 

That's all that I'm good at 

But don't be me 

Cause if you grow up and go and OD 

They're gonna come for me, and I'm gonna have to grow a goatee 

And get a disguise and hide 

Cause it'll be my fault 

So don't drugs and do exactly as I don't, because I'm bad for you 

See children, drugs are bad (uh huh) 

And if you don't believe me ask your dad (put that down) 

And if you don't believe him ask your mom (you can ask) 

She'll tell you how she does them all the time (and she will) 

So kids say no to drugs (say no) 

So you don't act like everyone else does (like I do) 

And there's really nothing else to say (that's right) 

Drugs are just bad, m'kay? 

Come on children 

clap along(SHUT UP!) 

Sing along children (Suck my motherfuckin dick!) 

Drugs are just bad drugs are just bad(South Park is gonna sue me!) 

So don't do drugs (Suck my motherfuckin penis!) 

so there'll be more for me (Hippie! God damnit!) 

(Mushrooms killed Kenny!...Ewww, ahhh!) 

(So, fucked up, right now.)