The Twelve Pains Of Christmas Lyrics - Twisted Christmas - Bob Rivers

The first thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me 

Is finding a Christmas tree 

The second thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me 

Rigging up the lights 

And finding a Christmas tree 

The third thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me 

Hangovers 

Rigging up the lights 

And finding a Christmas tree 

The fourth thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me 

Sending Christmas cards 

Hangovers 

Rigging up the lights 

And finding a Christmas tree 

The fifth thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me 

Five months of bills 

Sending Christmas cards 

Hangovers 

Rigging up the lights 

And finding a Christmas tree 

The sixth thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me 

Facing my in-laws 

Five months of bills 

"I hate those Christmas cards!" 

Hangovers 

Rigging up these lights 

And finding a Christmas tree 

The seventh thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me 

Salvation Army 

Facing my in-laws 

Five months of bills 

Sending Christmas cards 

"Aw geez" 

"I'm trying to rig up these lights!" 

And finding a Christmas tree 

The eighth thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me 

"I want ant farmer for Christmas" 

"Charities, and what do you mean your inlaws?" 

Five months of bills 

"Ah, mailing out these cards!" 

"Edith, get me a beer, huh!" 

"What, we have no extension chord?!?" 

And finding a Christmas tree 

The ninth thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me 

Finding parking spaces 

"Daddy, I want some candy!" 

"Donations!" 

Facing my in-laws 

Five months of bills 

"Writing up those Christmas cards" 

Hangovers 

"Now why the hell are they blinking?" 

And finding a Christmas tree 

The tenth thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me 

Batteries not included 

No parking spaces 

"Buy me something!" 

"Get a job ya bum!" 

Facing the inlaws 

Five months of bills 

"Yo ho, sending Christmas cards" 

"Ah geez, look at this!" 

"One light goes out, they all go out!" 

And finding a Christmas tree 

The eleventh thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me 

Stale TV specials 

Batteries not included 

No parking spaces 

"I gotta go to the bathroom" 

Charities 

"She's a witch, I hate her!" 

Five months of bills 

"Oh, I don't even know half these people!" 

"Who's got the toilet paper?" 

"Get a flashlight, I blew a fuse!" 

And finding a Christmas tree 

The twelfth thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me 

Singing Christmas Carols 

Stale TV specials 

Batteries not included 

No parking 

"Waaah!" 

Charities 

Gotta make 'em dinner 

Five months of bills 

"I'm not sending them, Mister, that's it!" 

"Shut up, you!" 

"Fine, you're so smart, you rig up the lights!" 

And finding a Christmas tree