Accidental Pimp Lyrics - Singles - 30 Dirty Thoughts

It was a dark and stormy night, and the bar was packed 

I took a long hard pull on Jimmy, John and Jack 

My buddies were a mess, we all looked like shit 

and I was scanning round the place for any targets to hit 

I said what next can I get some rough sex 

Can I find a victim for my next conquest? 

and just when I lamented 

that the night was circumvented 

in walked three fine young contented 

foxy fine females! 

We rolled on up, and I tipped my hat 

thinking time to show these ladies where the cool kids at 

We didn't mean no harm, and I was dripping with charm 

but their cool reaction said we'd bought the farm 

Their eyes cold frost, told us all to get lost, 

get the hell away, begone at any cost 

but just when doom was looming 

conversation was resuming 

and then they began consuming 

some tequila shots! 

Everybody knows somebody 

who can't control their alcohol 

And when they've lost those inhibitions 

accidental pimps can have it all 

As we watched from afar we saw 'em gulping it down 

There was so much liquid flowing that I thought they would drown 

We knew at that point that they were deep in a binge 

and we had an opportunity to take our revenge 

so we found a couple guys looking desperate as hell, 

said for a hundred bucks that they could have some tail 

then I pointed to the threesome, 

said it was my little harem, 

all they had to do was grab'em 

and the night was theirs! 

Everybody knows somebody 

who can't control their alcohol 

And when they've lost those inhibitions 

accidental pimps can have it all 

What I did was wrong, but those chicks were gone, 

Within moments it was on like donkey kong 

They never figured out what we'd gone and done, 

and selling their ass paid for our night of fun 

I say what now, got a new cash cow, 

I'm the new king, milk years out of this sow 

Just when you've made the grade, 

in this game you always played, 

threw yourself on the grenade, 

and you're finally getting laid, 

who d'ya think is getting paid? 

Everybody knows somebody 

who can't control their alcohol 

And when they've lost those inhibitions 

accidental pimps can have it all 

Everybody needs some money 

(you're drinkin, I'm pimpin, you've lost it, don't know it) 

at least to buy some alcohol 

(you're drinkin, I'm pimpin, you've lost it, don't know it) 

And when your wallet's nearly empty 

(you're drinkin, I'm pimpin, you've lost it, don't know it) 

accidental pimps can have a ball 

(you're drinkin, I'm pimpin, you've lost it, don't know it)