Couch Potato Lyrics - Poodle Hat - Weird Al Yankovic

Look 

If you had 

One shot 

To sit on your lazy butt 

And watch all the TV you ever wanted 

Until your brain turned to mush 

Would you go for it? 

Or just let it slip? 

Yo 

Remote is ready 

Eyes wide, palms are sweaty 

There's Flintstones on the TV already 

Wilma 'n' Betty 

No virgin to channel surfin' 

And I'm HD-ready 

So I flip 

Garbage is all I'm getting 

Related 

Songs That Will Make You Cry Uncontrollably 

Listen To Taylor Swift's New Song 'Call It What You Want' 

Watch Sam Smith And Fifth Harmony Join James Corden For Carpool Karaoke 

There's Simon Cowell 

Who folks wanna disembowel 

He opens his mouth 

Always says somethin' foul 

They're dyin', wow 

Wannabes are cryin'now 

He votes 'em out 

Time to throw in the towel 

Shows based on reality 

Oh, the humanity! 

Oh, Ozzy's family 

Sho' loves profanity 

Whoa, the insanity 

Oh, dogs that crap and pee 

Home of depravity? 

No, they live happily 

Yo 

Photos 

Plus "Da Ali G Show" 

And "Celebrity Mole" 

Oh, and there's Anna Nicole 

Well, she's scarin' me 

"Look ma, no cavities" 

Oh, it's a station break 

Better go out to the kitchen and microwave somethin' 

"You're gonna lose your mind watchin' TV" They told me, they'd scold me 

But I'd still tune in every show (show) 

My cable gets C-SPAN, TVLand, and HBO 

The Travel Channel, Discovery, and Lifetime (yo) 

"You're gonna lose your mind watchin' TV" 

They told me, cajoled me, "Turn off those music videos" (no) 

I'm gonna watch C-SPAN, TVLand, and HBO 

The History Channel and QVC and Lifetime (yo) 

(You're gonna) 

My butt is aching 

As I watch NASCAR racing 

That show about undertaking 

Larry King 

To "24" to "Law and Order" 

The Weather Channel's boring like "60 Minutes"' ancient reporters 

Next up on "E! True Hollywood Story" 

The rise and decline of twelve actors named Corey 

Shows for next fall, they've already been namin' 

"CSI: Boise" and "Touched by an Uncle" both sound pretty lame 'n' 

So does "Everybody Tolerates Raymond" 

And "King of Queens" jumped the shark the first minute 

I can't believe Richard Simmons ain't in it 

I'll move right on to "8 Simple Rules for Datin' My Teenaged Daughter" 

Then I bet 

I watch "The Bachelorette" 

Followed by "Welcome Back, Kotter" 

And "The Muppet Show" where they go 'Mahna Mahna' 

"You're gonna lose your mind watchin' TV" 

They told me, they'd scold me 

But I'd still tune in every show (show) 

My cable gets C-SPAN, TVLand, and HBO 

The Disney Channel and A&E and Lifetime (yo) 

"You're gonna lose your mind watchin' TV" 

They told me, cajoled me 

But I still love Lisa Kudrow (drow) 

I'm lookin' at C-SPAN, TVLand, and HBO 

The Playboy Channel and Court TV and Lifetime (yo) 

(You're Gonna) 

Never missed "Melrose Place" or "Lost In Space" 

I've seen each "Amazing Race" and "Without a Trace" 

But I only watched "Will and Grace" one time one day 

Wish I hadn't 'cause TiVo now thinks I'm gay 

Oh, and "Fear Factor" I watched maybe a half hour 

After that, felt like I needed a long shower 

Network execs with naked ambitions 

"Next week on FOX, watch lions eat Christians" 

Like to tie up those programming planners 

Make 'em watch all of that junk 'til their heads explode just like "Scanners" 

Leech-covered grub-eatin' fools on "Survivor" 

Look there's James Lipton discussing the oeuvre of Mr. Rob Schneider 

And there's "Gilligan" and "SpongeBob", plus there's "MacGyver" 

And Jay Leno has got Madonna, hey there's Luke Perry on a 

Special all Pig-Latin episode of "Drew Carey" 

Wanna turn on "E.T." 'cause I'm a gossip freak 

And I gotta know who J. Lo is marryin' this week 

A 30 second spot 

Then we come back to "Are You Hot?" 

I was planning on recordin' "The Sopranos" 

I forgot 

I love shows with or without a plot 

I'll stare 'til my legs are numb, my eyes bloodshot 

Because I only have got 

One brain to rot 

I'm gonna spend my life watchin' television a lot 

"You're gonna lose your mind watchin' TV" 

They told me, they'd scold me 

But I'd still tune in every show (show) 

My cable gets C-SPAN, TVLand, and HBO 

The Sci-Fi Channel and AMC and Lifetime (yo) 

"You're gonna lose your mind watchin' TV" 

They told me, cajoled me, "Turn off that Oprah Winfrey show" (no) 

I got it on C-SPAN, TVLand, and HBO 

The Learnin' Channel and MTV and Lifetime (yo) 

(You're gonna) 

You can watch anything you want to, man