Confessions Part Iii Lyrics - Straight Outta Lynwood - Weird Al Yankovic

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These are my confessions 

Just when I thought I said all I can say 

I came up with more secrets to tell you today 

These are my confessions 

Slipped my mind the last two times, silly me 

So now I gotta give you part three of my confessions 

First I told you 'bout the skank that I was cheatin' with 

Then I mentioned she's havin' my kid 

That's not all, now I recall more, you see 

So I'll give you part three of my confessions 

Now this gon' be the hardest thing I think I ever had to do 

Gonna tell you everything I left out of parts one and two 

Like, remember when I told you that I knew Pauley Shore 

Pauley Shore, that's a lie, I don't know what I said that for 

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I borrowed your ChapStick from you without asking 

Oh, and I tried out your nose hair trimmer too 

And by the way, your "diamond" ring is cubic zirconium 

I killed your goldfish accidentally, just replaced it with another one 

These are my confessions 

Just when I thought I said all I can say 

I need to get some things off my chest right away 

These are my confessions 

Slipped my mind the last two times, silly me 

Now I guess I gotta give you part three of my confessions 

Threw up on your dog last time I had too much to drink 

There've been times when I peed in your sink 

Don't know why but you and I should agree 

That belongs in part three of my confessions 

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Baby forgive me I'm still trying to figure out 

Why I used your toothbrush to clean off the bathroom grout 

Oh, and sometimes in private 

Really like to dress up like Shirley Temple 

And spank myself with a hockey stick 

My boss thinks I'm a jerk, didn't get that raise 

I haven't changed my underwear in twenty-seven days 

And when I'm kissing you I fantasize you're a midget 

I'm so sorry Debbie, I mean Bridget 

These are my confessions 

Just when I thought I said all I can say 

I got a few more secrets I'd like to convey 

These are my confessions 

Slipped my mind the last two times, silly me 

Now I guess I gotta give you part three of my confessions 

Gave you buttered toast I dropped and picked up off the floor 

FYI, it was not a cold sore 

(Not a cold sore) 

Whoops, my bad 

(Hope you're not sore at me) 

But you'll be madder at me when I finish part three of my confessions 

You don't know how hard it is for me to tell you this 

But you remember that shirt you got me for my birthday? 

Well, I returned it for store credit 

That thing was hideous, what were you thinking? 

Oh, by the way, I wasn't really sick last week 

I just didn't want to go to your stupid office picnic 

Oh, and when I told you at breakfast we were all out of Rice Krispies 

What I meant was, there was only enough left for me, sorry 

These are my confessions 

Just when I thought I said all I can say 

I thought of some more things that should scare you away 

These are my confessions 

Slipped my mind the last two times, silly me 

I guess I gotta give you part three of my confessions 

Once I blew my nose and then I wiped it on your cat 

And I lied, yes, that dress makes you look fat 

Anyway, I shouldn't say anymore 

'Til I give you part four of my confessions 

I mean, I'm just getting started here 

I'm not even halfway down the list 

This thing could go on for 

Hey hey, where you goin'? 

Honey? 

What? 

Was it something I said? 

Women!