I Don't Wanna Be A Homosexual Lyrics - Singles - Sloppy Seconds

(Dialogue from "Female Trouble," between Edith Massey and Michael Potter) 

Aunt Ida Nelson: "Have you met any nice boys in The Swan?" 

Gator: "Oh, pretty nice." 

Aunt Ida: "I mean any nice queer boys. Did you fool with any of them? 

Gator: "Aunt Ida, you know I dig women." 

Aunt Ida: "Aw, don't tell me that." 

Gator: "Christ, let's not go through this again." 

Aunt Ida: "All those beauticans, and you don't have any boy dates?" 

Gator: "I don't want any boy dates." 

Aunt Ida: "Oh honey, I'd be so happy if you turned nally." 

Gator: "Hey, no way. I'm straight. I mean I like a lot of queers, but I don't dig their equipment, y'know? I like women." 

Aunt Ida: "But you can change. Queers are just better. I'd be so proud if you was a fag, and had a nice beautician boyfriend. I'd never have to worry." 

Gator: "There ain't nothing to worry about." 

Aunt Ida: "I'm worried that you'll work in an office, get married, have children, celebrate wedding anniversaries. The world of heterosexuals is a sick and boring life." 

Gator: "Sometimes I think you're fucking crazy. I'm real happy just the way I am." 

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People are telling me that I'm missing out on the fun. 

' Cause I don't go anywhere, and I don't meet anyone. 

But I know how rumors fly. 

When you're a lonely guy. 

And I'm here to tell you it's a lie. 

There's stange things going on at night most everywhere. 

You know those places, well you'll never see me there. 

I walk by other men. 

And I don't notice them. 

But then those rumors start again. 

So I'm gonna tell the world. 

I Don't Wanna Be a Homosexual. 

I'm gonna find a girl. 

'Cause I Don't Wanna Be a Homosexual. 

I guess that it's okay. 

If other guys are gay. 

But my hormones are one-directional. 

And I Don't Wanna Be a Homosexual. 

Photos 

Somebody tell me what I did to start this talk. 

Is it the way I look? Is it the way I walk? 

Is it the clothes I wear, 

that make the people stare? 

Is it the way I comb my hair? 

I'm only hoping maybe there will come a day 

When I can make them understand that I'm not gay. 

But 'till that day is near, 

Iguess I'll live in fear. 

And I curse the day I pierce my ear. 

There's nothing wrong with me. 

I Don't Wanna Be a Homosexual. 

Know what I want to be. 

And I Don't Wanna Be a Homosexual. 

Soft boys and closet queens, 

think Judy Garland's keen. 

But I don't think she's nothing special. 

And I Don't Wanna Be a Homosexual. 

(instrumental break) 

So now I'm wondering if maybe they're not right. 

'Cause I've gone all paranoid and I can't sleep at night. 

I went to see the shrink. 

What did the doctor think? 

I swear to god I saw him wink. 

I pray to God I'm wrong 

I Don't Wanna Be a Homosexual. 

Why did I write this song 

If I Don't Wanna Be a Homosexual? 

I hope it's not too late, 

for them to set me straight. 

I've got to see a real professional. 

'Cause I Don't Wanna Be a Homosexual, no! 

No no no no. No no no no no no no. 

I don't wanna be, I don't wanna be 

I Don't Wanna Be a Homosexual. 

(repaeated in background) 

I don't wanna go with guys named Shamus. 

I don't wanna be rich and famous. 

I don't wanna go to a French art festival 

and I Don't Wanna Be a Homosexual.