Blackmail Lyrics - Singles - Sloppy Seconds

Well, your father's in Bermuda 

And the milkman's overjoyed 

Your maid is into bondage 

And I've got Polaroids 

And I was on the corner 

When you wrecked your mother's Porsche 

But why should I inform her 

About your poor misfortune? 

'Cause everyone has secrets 

But sometimes you get caught 

So if it's just between us 

My silence can be bought 

Blackmail . . . blackmail 

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I was looking through your closet 

When I found your water bong 

Your stash of Turkish hash 

And a twelve-inch rubber dong 

And I won't tell your family 

About your last abortion 

So you can call it "bribery" 

But I prefer "extortion" 

Well, my counselor is a dealer 

And the football coach is queer 

The school nurse and the dean of boys 

Are having an affair 

Photos 

And someone shot the rent-a-cop 

And I'm the only witness 

But I won't tell you who it was 

'Cause it's none of your business