Hail To Thee Fat Person Lyrics - Sherman Allan

+Hail To Thee, Fat Person 

I would like to explain how it came to pass that I got fat. 

Ladies and gentlemen, I got fat as a public service. 

When I was a child, my mother said to me, 

"Clean the plate, because children are starving in Europe." 

And I might point out that that was years before the Marshall Plan 

was ever heard of. 

So I would clean the plate, four, five, six times a day. 

Because somehow I felt that that would keep the children from starving 

in Europe. 

But I was wrong. They kept starving. And I got fat. 

So I would like to say to every one of you who is either skinny 

or in some other way normal-- 

When you walk out on the street, and you see a fat person, 

Do not scoff at that fat person. Oh no! 

Take off your hat. Hold it over your heart. 

Lift your chin up high. And in a proud, happy voice say to him, 

"Hail to thee, fat person! 

You kept us out of war!"