Diet Song Lyrics - Singles - Shel Silverstein

Well breakfast black coffee one slice of dry toast no butter no jelly no jam 

Lunch just some lettuce two celery stalks no booze no potatoes no ham 

Dinner one chicken wing broiled not fried no gravy no biscuits no pie 

And this dietin' dietin' dietin' dietin' sure is a rough way to die 

So pass me a carrot stick peel me a prune a glass of skim milk and that's all 

Turn off the TV for the Big Mac commercial it's drivin' me straight up the wall 

And I'm think' of french fries sausage and waffles spaghetti and cookies and cake 

And each night I'm dreamin' of chocolate ice cream and 

I'm starvin' to death when I wake all for your sake 

You're fixin' the kids all those creamed mashed potatoes 

But it's bouillon and water for me and you got a lock on the refrigerator 

Lord knows where you're hidin' the key 

And while I am starvin' for food late at night I'm starvin' for lovin' from you 

But you say that when I can see my own dick you'll be glad to look at it too 

So supper two pieces of cauliflower raw some beefsteak the size of a nail 

One sliced tomato a small dab of slaw I swear I ate better in jail 

Stop eatin' that pizza right under my nose girl that's the least you can do 

And put down that candy bar while I am singin' I'm starvin' my ass off for you 

And when I am dead with the insurance paid you'll look down at me and you'll grin 

You'll say well the boy tried and he suffered and died 

But don't he look good when he's thin