Horizontal Dancer Lyrics - The Hopin' Road - Lex Zaleta

She said someone had stolen her honor, 

Seized it in a pre-dawn sneak attack. 

Before she knew it, he was upon her. 

Didn't take long to get her honor back. 

Squeezably soft and so charming, 

Her morals are downright alarming. 

She won't give no for an answer, 

This sweet horizontal dancer. 

She was a pretty brunette for starters, 

Till she became a never-say-dye blonde. 

She wears two lacy black silk garters 

In memory of those who have passed beyond. 

Squeezably soft and so charming, 

Her morals are downright alarming. 

She won't give no for an answer, 

This sweet horizontal dancer. 

Her given name was Virginia Bea Strong. 

They all used to call her "Virgin" for short, 

But they sure didn't call her "Virgin" for long. 

The closest they've come since then is "Good Sport". 

Young women keep you guessing, 

And older women are worse. 

They can be a mixed blessing 

Or a candy-coated curse. 

She named her legs "Christmas" and "New Year's" 

In one of her more flagrant displays. 

More men than you could ever figure 

Visited between the holidays. 

Squeezably soft and so charming, 

Her morals are downright alarming. 

She won't give no for an answer, 

This sweet horizontal dancer.