Dirty Feet + Giggles Lyrics - Laika

i'm sitting here 

alone 

i'm pitching a tent like a camper's home 

all i've got tonight, are dirty feet and giggles 

and Rover, and this jar of Jif 

and i grab a butter knife 

to end my virginal strife 

i've tried hard hard HARD 

to get between you and him 

but in the end of you, i begin 

i take a deep breath that is dreamy 

and smear on some extra creamy 

and i call the canine over 

to try out my new lollipop boner 

when senor skippy is in town 

all i think about 

is my dog going down 

and this is why i used vaginal cream 

that time when i tried out for swim team 

i had to shave my legs and my balls 

but no knowledge of the bathroom, i did it in the hall 

i shit myself at the family reunion 

and that time i first received my holy communion 

the moon is rising 

and these extra two inches tonight are surprising 

and i 

and you 

and ro-o-over too 

can't believe 

what your new crush just did to my shoe 

there is feces all inside 

and it's covering the fresh leather hide 

do you remember what tonight is 

the night Elvis dies while taking a piss 

and it was on the television 

and my sperm is now spraying like nuclear fission 

and now i need Kleenex Cottonelle 

cuase this sticky feeling is comparable with hell 

and i'm sick of low fat lays 

and they more i hate it, the more my gizz sprays 

and now windex is required 

for now my ejaculate has retired 

to window overlooking the tree house 

and i must clean it up as quiet as a mouse 

but alas i make an utterance 

it is my mom, a goddamn stutterance 

she has caught me, red handed 

tissue on dick 

with that creamy Jif 

all over my stick 

and it's not even a maternal figure 

it's you and you're dressed like a wigger 

I hate fat Albert Jeans 

can someone HOLLA for me if they know what I mean 

Alas, i recover my .38 

it is the only way to go out after you masturbate. 

BA BLAM 

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