Donuts Lyrics - Obsessed - Jim Gaffigan

The Police, they love donuts right? 

" Hey cop why don't cha get a donut 

cops love donuts!." 

Which is a interesting stereotype 

cause you know who else likes donuts? Absolutely everyone, Of course cops love donuts 

cause they know the difference between right and wrong! 

and not liking donuts is wrong! 

Have you ever met someone who doesn't like a donut, you wanna know why 

because they're in jail 

When you in a donut shop and you see a police officer don't you feel like something 

special happened 

*Gasp* an angel just got it's wings, it's special 

i had a donut before i came onstage 

I was with a friend last week i was like 

"you want to get a donut? He's like "Im not hungry." 

I'm like " What does that have to do with it 

As if there's good reason to eat a donut 

" Well, Doctor said i need more powder sugar in my diet" 

Donuts are bad for you and according to my health nut wife 

their not appropriate for a trail mix 

I'm just on a different trail right 

mine leads to the emergency room 

That joke will be even funnier when i die from cardiac arrest 

That's why i didn't laugh 

Donuts are all about taste 

in los Angeles there is a place called Yum Yum Donuts 

Like what do you need? 

the IQ of one to find that appealing. 

Yum Yum, me like Yum Yum 

like who's the target audience, Cavemen? 

I know two thing yellow fireball rise in sky and Yum Yum 

Yum Yum donuts 

Yum Yum. 

Now there's gourmet donuts that are deep fried and gold. 

I had a gourmet donut, i didn't realise it was a gourmet donut 

i just pointed at a donut and the donut guy started ringing it up 

He's like " That will be 3.99." 

I was like i only want one of them 

He's like " That is the price for one of them." 

Then there was this long awkward pause where i waited for him to lean forward and 

say 

"Just Kidding." But he didn't 

He just looked at me like " Got ya Tubby." 

Cause he knew i'd pay 

cause i was in a donut shop 

It's not like i was there to buy a yoga mat 

Boston 

this is like donut ground zero right? bumholes 

Related 

Songs You Love If You Love Nerds 

Watch Cardi B Joins James Corden For Carpool Karaoke 

From MetroLyrics to You: Our Classic Christmas Playlist 

Photos