Roadkill Christmas Lyrics - Don't Come Home For Christmas - Jeff Dunham

Got my dog and 6-pack inside my truck 

My wife rides in the back because she won't shut up 

There's a deer in the headlights and though it might be a sin 

I gunned the motor and run over him 

It's a Roadkill Christmas 

Venison pretenderized 

It's a Roadkill Christmas 

'Cause they freeze when the lights hit their eyes 

She loaded him into the back of the truck 

I was driving us home, that's when he done woke up 

I couldn't believe what I saw in my rear-view mirror 

My wife was a-wrestlin' with a mad deer 

It's a Roadkill Christmas 

She had fifty pounds over him 

It's a Roadkill Christmas 

It was no time 'til she had him pinned 

By the time we got home, he was her pet 

That night, he slept on my side of the bed 

I had to spend the night out in my truck 

But I had some beer, so I didn't give a... darn 

*JEFF: Bubba J, that was close.* 

*Bubba J: Yeah I know, I almost said damn.* 

A couple days later, I made him a deal 

If he worked for me, then he would not be my next meal 

I covered his antlers with foil and then, 

I plugged the T.V. cable into his rear end 

It's a Roadkill Christmas 

Every Sunday, he's up on my roof 

It's a Roadkill Christmas 

I get NASCAR and the NFL, too. 

It's a Roadkill Christmas 

That dumb deer changed my life 

It's a Roadkill Christmas 

Next time, I'll run over my wife!