The Crab - Grass Baby Lyrics - Thing-fish - Frank Zappa

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CRAB-GRASS BABY: 

Stroke me pompadour, pompaduooor, pompaduooor, pompaduooor. 

Stroke me pompadour, father. Stroke it nicely while I tell you about the 

problems I am having with my car an my girlfriend. Ooo-wo-woo, the 

white man's burden! 

Her and her girlfriend used to go out and booze it up and tear up the 

upholstery; rip the seats completely out, and so I got a fifty-six Olds. 

About the time I got it running decently, she got in it and wrecked the 

trans... tore it completely up, so I had to get another Oldsmobile 

(either that or go to Tijuana or go to BROWN MOSES way down 

in Egypt-Land). It's so hard on a child when his car is fucked up. 

Buy me a Volvo, faaather. 

HARRY-AS-A-BOY: 

Isn't it terrific, artificial RHONDA! 

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CRAB-GRASS BABY: 

One-Adam-Twelve... see the enormous white pompadour! Ha-Ha-ha-ho! 

That's a good one! Hoo-hoo-hoo. 

HARRY-AS-A-BOY: 

He's so young, and yet, SO WISE! 

CRAB-GRASS BABY: 

I pooped my pants, pooped my pants, pooped my pants! I went doody, 

faaather, sob-sob-sob-sob-sob. 

HARRY-AS-A-BOY: 

His vocabulary is astonishing! 

CRAB-GRASS BABY: 

So what if you suck a little cock every once in a while? 

HARRY-AS-A-BOY: 

Ohhh... I'm so lucky to have a son like this... 

CRAB-GRASS BABY: 

Barf me out... gag me with a Volvo! 

Photos 

HARRY-AS-A-BOY: 

I can't wait to show him to all the fellas down at the MINE-SHAFT! 

CRAB-GRASS BABY: 

Take me to the movies. Buy me a balloon. Stroke me pompadour! 

HARRY-AS-A-BOY: 

Look! Look! Look at the pecker on him, wouldja! Goodjy-goodjy-goodjy-goo! 

Hoo hoo hoo! 

THING-FISH: 

Dis boy have a 'PROVLEM'! However, how 'bout a nice round of applause 

fo de three 'WISE MAMMIES', comin' atcha outa chute numba five!