Humpty Dumpty Lyrics - The Dubliners Essential Collection - Dubliners

Have you heard of one Humpty Dumpty 

How he fell with a roll and a rumble 

And curled up like Lord Olofa Crumple 

By the butt of the Magazine Wall 

Of the Magazine Wall/Hump, helmet and all? 

He was one time our King of the Castle 

Now he's kicked about like a rotten old parsnip. 

And from Green Street he'll be sent by order of His Worship 

To the penal jail of Mountjoy 

To the jail of Mountjoy!/Jail him and joy. 

He was fafafather of all schemes for to bother us 

Slow coaches and immaculate contraceptives for the populace, 

Mare's milk for the sick, seven dry Sundays a week, 

Openair love and religion's reform, 

And religious reform/Hideous in form. 

Arrah, why, says you, couldn't he manage it? 

I'll go bail, me fine dairyman darling, 

Like the bumping bull of the Cassidys 

All your butter is in your horns 

His butter is in his horns./Butter his horns! 

Hurrah there, Hosty, frosty Hosty, change that shirt on ye 

Hurrah there, Hosty, frosty Hosty, change that shirt on ye, 

Rhyme the rann, the king of all ranns! 

We had chaw chaw chops, chairs, chewing gum, 

The chicken pox and china chambers 

Universally provided by this soffsoaping salesman. 

Small wonder He'll Cheat E'erawan our local lads nicknamed him 

When Chimpden first took the floor 

With his bucketshop store 

Down Bargainweg, Lower. 

So snug he was in his hotel premises sumptuous 

But soon we'll bonfire all his trash, tricks and trumpery 

And 'tis short till sheriff Clancy'll be winding up his unlimited 

Company 

With the bailiff's bom at the door 

Bimbam at the door/Then he'll bum no more. 

Sweet bad luck on the waves washed to our island 

The hooker of the hammerfast viking 

And Gall's curse on the day when Eblana bay 

Saw his black and tan man-o'-war 

Saw his man-o'-war/On the harbour bar. 

8. Where from? roars Poolbeg. Cookingha'pence, he bawls Donnez-moi 

Scampitle, wick an wipin'fampiny 

Fingal Mac Oscar Onesine Bargearse Boniface 

Thok's min gammelhole Norveegickers moniker 

Og as ay are at gammelhore Norveegickers cod. 

A Norwegian camel old cod./He is, begod. 

Lift it, Hosty, lift it, ye devil ye! up with the rann, the rhyming 

Rann! 

It was during some fresh water garden pumping 

Or according to the Nursing Mirror, while admiring the monkeys 

That our heavyweight heathen Humpharey 

Made bold a maid to woo 

Woohoo, what'll she doo! 

The general lost her maidenloo! 

He ought to blush for himself, the old hayheaded philosopher 

For to go and shove himself that way on top of her. 

Begob, he's the crux of the catalogue 

Of our antediluvial zoo 

Messrs. Billing and Coo. 

Noah's larks, good as no. 

He was joulting by Wellinton's monument 

Our rotorious hipppopopotamuns 

When some bugger let down the backtrap of the omnibus 

And he caught his death of fusiliers, 

With his rent in his rears./Give him six years. 

'Tis sore pity for his innocent poor children 

But look out for his missus legitimate! 

When that frew gets a grip of old Earwicker 

Won't there be earwigs on the green? 

Big earwigs on the green, 

The largest ever you seen. 

Suffoclose! Shikespower! Suedodanto! Anonymoses! 

Then we'll have a free trade Gaels' band and mass meeting 

For to sod the brave son of Scandiknavery 

And we'll bury him down in Oxmanstown 

Along with the devil and Danes, 

With the deaf and dumb Danes,/And all their remains. 

And not all the king's men nor his horses 

Will resurrect his corpus 

For there's no true spell in Connacht or hell