No Sex Lyrics - Singles - Chris Rock

{Ladies and gentlemen of the GED class of 1999 

I have one piece of advice for you 

No matter what a stripper tells you 

There's no sex in the champagne room 

None} 

{Oh there's champagne in the champagne room 

But you don't want champagne, you want sex 

And there's no sex 

In the champagne room} 

Don't go to parties with metal detectors 

Sure it feels safe inside, but what about 

All those niggaz waitin' outside with guns? 

They know you ain't got one 

If a woman tells you she's 20 and looks 16, she's 12 

If she tells you she's 26, and looks 26, she's damn near 40 

Take off that silly-ass hat 

The O.D.B. couldn't have possibly committed all those crimes 

Coolio did some of that shit 

Young black men, if you go to a movie theater 

And someone steps on your foot, let it slide 

Why spend the next twenty years in jail 

'Cause someone smudged your Puma? 

Cornbread, ain't nuttin' wrong with that 

No matter what you think of what I'm sayin' 

Remember this one thing 

There is no sex 

In the champagne room 

No sex in the champagne room 

No sex in the champagne room 

No sex in the champagne room 

No sex in the champagne room 

No sex in the champagne room 

No sex in the champagne room 

Absolutely, positively, no sex in the champagne room 

If a homeless person, has a funny sign 

He hasn't been homeless that long 

A real homeless person 

Is too hungry, to be funny 

If a girl has a pierced tongue 

She'll probably suck your dick 

If a guy has a pierced tongue 

He'll probably suck your dick 

Here's a horoscope for everyone 

Aquarius, you're gonna die 

Capricorn, you're gonna die 

Gemini, you're gonna die twice 

Leo, you're gonna die 

Scorpio, you're gonna die fucking 

Ohh yeah 

No one goes to hooters for wings 

No no no 

If you've been dating a man for four months 

And you haven't met any of his friends 

You are not his girlfriend 

Some of the things I've said may not apply to you 

Some of the things I've said may offend you 

But no matter who you are, you must remember this one thing 

No matter what a stripper says 

There's no sex in the champagne room 

None 

No sex in the champagne room 

Said no sex in the champagne room 

No sex in the champagne room 

No no sex in the champagne room 

No sex in the champagne room 

Can't get none 

Can't have none 

In the champagne room 

Said there's absolutely, positively 

No sex in the champagne room 

Said no, no 

Said no 

Said Chris said. 

There ain't no sex 

In the champagne room 

No no no 

Can't get none 

Can't have none