Ironic Lyrics - Words Words Words - Bo Burnham

My dog's stomach was very upset, so we put him in the car and we went to the vet 

And on our way to the vet, we killed a cat 

I say, isn't that ironic? 

I adopted a child from overseas, to rescue him from child labor factories 

And on his very first birthday, we went to Build-A-Bear workshop 

Isn't that I-R-O-N-I-C-I-N-O-R-I 

Yes and a waterpark is burned to the ground, and a tow truck is broken down 

I always used to cry when I laughed then I was raped by a clown 

I was watching Al Gore on CNN, and he was talking about the environment and then out of boredom my pet polar bear shot himself 

Dated an animal rights activist, one day she got really pissed becuase I was eating veal that was wrapped in pita (PETA) bread 

I-R-O-N-I-C-I-N-O-R-I 

Yeah, I said, I'm a stand-up comic and I always sit and slouch 

And I got my girlfriend pregnant on my sterile, uncle's pull out couch 

I-R-O-N-I-C-I-N-O-R-I, Ironic 

Yeah, everyday you play the board game RISK but you've probably never taken a risk in your life 

And Monopoly has far from a stranglehold on the board-game market 

And a little kid died from suffocation when he choked on a game piece from operation 

And I can't grow a beard, that wasn't ironic, that one's just sad 

Bob Barker got all of my pets pregnant 

My grandfather has Alzheimer's and one day we were-