The Houseplant Song Lyrics - Underdog - Audio Adrenaline

Once I read a book 

And this is what it said 

If your music has a beat 

Then you're gonna wind up dead 

It doesn't really matter if 

It's Christian or not 

If it's syncopated rhythm 

Then your soul is gonna rot 

And this book was called 

"Ha' you're gonna burn" 

And in the second chapter 

I went on to learn 

Take two houseplants 

And put them to the test 

Set them both in front of speakers 

And let the music do the rest 

The first one you play Mozart 

Or somethin' lovely like that 

The second one you play that 

Petra or that Megadeth 

Doesn't really matter 

What kind of rock it is 

So I took my two houseplants 

And I put them to the test 

Set them both in front of speakers 

To let the music do the rest 

I powered up my Pioneers 

To let the music roar 

But twenty minutes later 

Someone's knockin' at my door 

I opened up the door 

And there may neighbor stood 

He said, "Man, I'd like to get 

Some sleep if you think I could" 

I said, "Man, can't you see here 

I've got this moral dilemma that 

I have got to get clear" 

He said, "What kind of moral 

Dilemma could you have at this 

Time of night that could make me 

So angry that I just wanna fight" 

Sorry, so I pointed to the page 

In that open book 

That had a pictured of a potted plant 

And I said, "Go have a look", and he read 

Take two houseplants 

And put them to the test 

Set them both in front of speakers 

And let the music do the rest 

The first one you play Mozart 

Or somethin' lovely like that 

The second one you play that 

Petra or that Megadeth 

Doesn't really matter 

What kind of rock it is 

"First of all," he said 

"That's Wagner that you're playin' 

I've never heard of Petra 

And isn't Megadeth all dead 

And secondly, emphatically 

He asked me, "What's the sense 

Of hangin' out with houseplants 

When, hey, I live right across the fence" 

And I thought to myself 

You know, that's a good point 

So I took my two houseplants 

And I put them both back outside 

And me and my neighbor 

Well, we went out for a drive 

We talked about all the things 

That really matter most 

Like life and love and happiness 

And then the holy ghost 

And now my two houseplants 

They sit out in the sun 

And as for my neighbor 

Well our friendship has become 

A meaningful relationship 

That's headed straight to Heaven 

But as for now, we like to sit around and listen 

To Audio Adrenaline, cranked to eleven