This isn't who I am. From confidence to self doubt in sixty seconds. Storming stages and stereos from here to there. Trying to prove that I belong. Trying to win approval from people that I don't know.
It's getting cold. Thought it was too soon to tell but it was terribly old and as the heartbeat slows to a heartless crawl. The lights went out,. The lights went out and darkness filled the house on tiring night under a Long Island sky.
It seems like you're holding me down and it just seems pointless to work this thing out. So what's holding me back?. A lifelong friendship's not worth this.
I'm so tired of the stupid games you play. If I sat outside would you come watch me wait?. If I had a gun and shot it at your face?. Would you promise not to get out of the way?.
Drink up beautiful. I spiked your cup with angst and a heart attack,. 'Cause I've got so much trapped and it's all because of you. So I figured you might like some back.
I'm never waking up again so I'll never have to find out what you did. Each day it's harder to pretend. That your eyes aren't lying as much as your mouth did.
I'm trying to create something that's not there. A spark I saw. A bomb is really just a means to an end. I was just so happy to be out of my shell again,.
Pound my knuckles hard against the floor. My head against the wall. But I did this to myself. Assume it's just not worth getting back up,. But I'll blame it on bad luck.
So let's close our eyes and we'll talk in the morning. When we're able to feel. The true weight of our words and why we're both here. Then we can say we tried and take comfort in knowing.
I hate myself more than I ever let on. I'm burnt out at twenty two. I lived too fast and I loved too much and I'll die too young. But I chose this cup that I drank from.