Ding Dong! The Witch Is Dead (reprise) Lyrics - Singles - Wizard Of Oz

Wizard 

Why have you come back? 

Dorothy 

Please, sir. We've done what you told us. 

We've brought you the broomstick of the Wicked Witch of the West. We melted her. 

Wizard 

Oh - you liquidated her, eh? Very resourceful! 

Dorothy 

Yes, sir. So we'd like you to keep your promise to us - if you please, sir. 

Wizard 

Not so fast! Not so fast! I'll have to give the matter a little thought! 

Go away and come back tomorrow! 

Dorothy 

Tomorrow! Oh, but I want to go home now! 

Wizard 

Do not arouse the wrath of the Great and Powerful Oz! I said come back tomorrow! Oh! 

The Great Oz has spoken! 

Oh! Pay no attention to that man behind the curtain. The Great, Powerful -- has spoken -- 

Dorothy 

Who are you? 

Wizard 

Well, I - I - I am the Great and Powerful - Wizard of Oz. 

Dorothy 

You are? 

Wizard 

Uh - 

Dorothy 

I don't believe you! 

Wizard 

No, I'm afraid it's true. There's no other Wizard except me. 

Dorothy 

Oh - you're a very bad man! 

Wizard 

Oh, no, my dear. I - I'm a very good man. I'm just a very bad Wizard. 

Scarecrow 

What about the heart that you promised the Tin Man? 

Wizard 

Well, I - 

Scarecrow 

And the courage you promised Cowardly Lion? 

Wizard 

Well, I - 

Tin Man and Lion 

And Scarecrow's brain? 

Wizard 

Why, anybody can have a brain. That's a very mediocre commodity. 

Back where I come from we have universities - seats of great learning - 

where men go to become great thinkers. And when they come out, 

they think deep thoughts, and with no more brains than you have. But - 

they have one thing you haven't got - a diploma! Therefore, by virtue 

of the authority vested in me by the Universita Committeeatum E Pluribus Unum, 

I hereby confer upon you the honorary degree of Th.D. 

Scarecrow 

Th.D.? 

Wizard 

Yeah - that - that's Dr. of Thinkology 

Scarecrow 

How can I ever thank you enough? 

Wizard 

Well, you can't! As for you my fine friend, you are a victim or disorganized thinking. 

You are under the unfortunate delusion that simply because you run away from danger you 

have no courage! You are confusing courage with wisdom. Back where I come fro mwe have 

men who are called heroes. Once a year they take their fortitude out of mothballs and 

parade it down the main street of the city. And they have no more courage than you have. 

But - they have one thing that you haven't got! A medal!! Therefore, for meritorious conduct, 

extraordinary valor, conspicuous bravery against wicked witches, I award you the Triple Cross. 

You are now a member of the Legion of Courage! 

Lion 

Oh - oh, shucks, folks - I'm speechless! 

Wizard 

As for you, my galvanized friend - you want a heart! 

You don't know how lucky you are not to have one. 

Hearts will never be practical until they can be made unbreakable. 

Tin Man 

But I - I still want one. 

Wizard 

Back where I come from there are men who do nothing all day but good deeds. 

They are called phil....er.....phil...er...er....good-deed-doers 

and their hearts are no bigger than yours, but they have one thing you haven't got! 

A testimonial! Therefore, in consideration of your kindness, I take pleasure 

at this time in presenting you with a small token of our esteem and affection. 

And remember, my sentimental friend, that a heart is not judged by how much you love, 

but by how much you are loved by others. 

Tin Man 

Oh, Oh, it ticks! Listen! Look, it ticks! 

Lion 

Read - read what my medal says. Courage! Ain't it the truth! 

Dorothy 

Oh - oh they're all wonderful. 

Scarecrow 

Hey, what about Dorothy? 

Dorothy 

Oh, I don't think there's anything in that black bag for me. 

Wizard 

Well - you force me into a cataclysmic decision. 

The only way to get Dorothy back to Kansas is for me to take her there myself! 

Dorothy 

Oh! Oh, will you? Could you? Oh! Oh, but are you a clever enough wizard to manage it? 

Wizard 

Child, you cut me to the quick! I'm an old Kansas man myself, born and bred - 

in the heart of the western wilderness, premier Baloonist, highest class. 

And in that balloon, my dear Dorothy, you and I will return to the Land of E Pluribus Unum! 

This is positivey the finest exhibition ever to be shown.....well, be that as it may. 

I, your Wizard, par adua outer, am about to embark on a hazardous and technically 

unexplainable journey into the outer stratosphere. To confer, converse and otherwise 

hob-nob with my brother wizards. And I hereby decree that until what time, if any, 

that I return, the Scarecrow by virtue of his highly superior brains, shall rule in my stead, 

assisted by the Tin Man, by virtue of his magnificent heart, and the Lion by virtue of his 

courage! Obey them as you would me. 

Dorothy 

Oh, Toto - come back! Toto! Toto! Oh, don't go without me! I'll be right back! Toto! 

Tin Man 

Stop that dog! 

Dorothy 

Oh, come back, come back, don't go without me! Please, come back! 

Wizard 

I can't come back! I don't know how it works! Goodbye, folks! People of Oz 

Peope of OZ 

Goodbye! Goodbye! Goodbye! 

Dorothy 

Oh, now I'll never get home! 

Lion 

Stay with us, then, Dorothy. We all love you. We don't want you to go. 

Dorothy 

Oh, that's very kind of you, but this could never be like Kansas. 

Auntie Em must have stopped wondering what 

happened to me by now. Oh, Scarecrow, what am I going to do? 

Scarecrow 

Look! Here's someone who can help you. 

Dorothy 

Oh - will you help me? Can you help me? 

Glinda 

You don't need to be helped any longer. You've always had the power to go back to Kansas. 

Dorothy 

I have? 

Scarecrow 

Then why didn't you tell her before? 

Glinda 

Because she wouldn't have believed me. She had to learn it for herself. 

Tin Man 

What have you learned, Dorothy? 

Dorothy 

Well, I - I think that it - that it wasn't enough just to want to see 

Uncle Henry and Auntie Em. And that it's that - if I ever go looking 

for my heart's desire again, I won't look any further than my own backyard, 

because if it isn't there, I never really lost it to begin with. Is that right? 

Glinda 

That's all it is! 

Glinda 

Are you ready now? 

Dorothy 

Yes. Say goodbye, Toto. Yes, I'm ready now. 

Glinda 

Then close your eyes and think to yourself 'There's no place like home. 

There's no place like home.' 

Dorothy and Glinda 

'There's no place like home. There's no place like home.'