Mr Popiel Lyrics - Weird Al Yankovic

I need a Vegematic! 

I need a Pocket Fisherman! 

I need a handy appliance 

That'll scramble an egg while it's still inside its shell! 

(Operators are standing by, how does that make you feel?) 

Help me 

Mr. Popeil! 

I wanna shine some pennies! 

I wanna mend some leather! 

I wanna Krazy-Glue my head to the bottom of a big steel girder! 

(Please, no C.O.D.'s. don't miss out on this deal) 

Ah, help me 

Mr. Popeil! 

Related 

The 18 Greatest Revenge Songs of All Time 

Listen To Taylor Swift's New Song 'Call It What You Want' 

Watch Sam Smith And Fifth Harmony Join James Corden For Carpool Karaoke 

Help me 

Mr. Popeil! 

Mr. Popeil! 

Mr. Popeil! 

(Woo, woo, ohh) 

It slices, it dices 

Look at that tomato! 

You could even cut a tin can with it 

But you wouldn't want to! 

Mr. Popeil, I'm in trouble 

Need your assistance on the double 

Oh no! Now how am I gonna make 

My old vinyl car top look like new? 

Mr. Popeil! 

Tell me, what am I s'posed to do? 

Mr. Popeil! 

Mr. Popeil! 

Photos 

(Now how much would you pay?) 

But wait, there's more! 

It's not sold in any store! 

(Now how much would you pay?) 

Don't answer yet 

Just look what else you get! 

(Now how much would you pay?) 

If you order today 

You get a Ginsu knife and a smokeless ashtray! 

(Now how much would you pay?) 

Now how much would you pay? 

Mr. Popeil, Mr. Popeil 

Mr. Popeil, Mr. Popeil 

Mr. Popeil, Mr. Popeil 

Mr. Popeil, Mr. Popeil 

Make me buy a Garden Weasel! 

Make me buy a Bamboo Steamer! 

Make me take advantage of this amazing TV offer! 

(Call our toll-free number, we'll make you such a deal) 

Aw, help me! 

Mr. Popeil, I want it! 

(Mr. Popeil) 

Well, I need it! 

(Mr. Popeil) 

I got to, got to, got to have it! 

Mr. Popeil! 

Mr. Popeil! 

Hey!