I Want A New Duck Lyrics - Dare To Be Stupid - Weird Al Yankovic

Woh oh, I want a new duck 

One that won't try to bite 

One that won't chew a hole in my socks 

One that won't quack all night 

I want a new duck 

One with big webbed feet 

One that knows how to wash my car 

And keep his room real neat 

One that won't raid the ice box 

One that'll stay in shape 

One that's never gonna try to migrate or escape 

Or I'll tie him up with duct tape 

I want a new duck 

A mallard I think 

One that won't make a mess of my house 

Or build a nest in the bathroom sink 

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I want a new duck 

One that won't steal a beer 

One that won't stick his bill in my mail 

One that knows the duck stops here 

One that won't drive me crazy waddling all around 

One who'll teach me how to swim and help me not to drown 

And show me how to get down 

How to get down, baby 

Get it? 

Quack, quack, quack, quack 

Quack, quack, quack, quack 

I want a new duck 

Not a swan or a goose 

Just a drake, I can dress real cute 

Think I'm gonna name him Bruce 

Photos 

I want a new duck 

Not a quail or an owl 

One that won't molt too much 

One that won't smell too foul 

One that won't beg for breadcrumbs 

Hangin' around all day 

He'd better mind his manners 

Better do just what I say 

Or he's gonna be duck pate, duck pate, yah, yah 

Quack, quack, quack, quack 

Quack, quack, quack, quack