Amish Paradise Lyrics - Bad Hair Day - Weird Al Yankovic

As I walk through the valley where I harvest my grain, 

I take a look at my wife and realize she's very plain 

But that's just perfect for an Amish like me 

You know, I shun fancy things like electricity 

At 4: 30 in the morning I'm milkin' cows 

Jebediah feeds the chickens and Jacob plows... fool 

And I've been milkin' and plowin' so long that 

Even Ezekiel thinks that my mind is gone 

I'm a man of the land, I'm into discipline 

Got a Bible in my hand and a beard on my chin 

But if I finish all of my chores and you finish thine 

Then tonight we're gonna party like it's 1699 

Related 

18 Non-Traditional Yet Perfect Wedding Songs 

Listen To Taylor Swift's New Song 'Call It What You Want' 

Watch Sam Smith And Fifth Harmony Join James Corden For Carpool Karaoke 

We been spending most our lives 

Living in an Amish paradise 

I've churned butter once or twice 

Living in an Amish paradise 

It's hard work and sacrifice 

Living in an Amish paradise 

We sell quilts at discount price 

Living in an Amish paradise 

A local boy kicked me in the butt last week 

I just smiled at him and turned the other cheek 

I really don't care, in fact I wish him well 

'Cause I'll be laughing my head off when he's burning in hell 

But I ain't never punched a tourist even if he deserved it 

An Amish with a 'tude? You know that's unheard of 

I never wear buttons but I got a cool hat 

And my homies all I agree I really look good in black... fool 

If you come to visit, you'll be bored to tears 

We haven't even paid the phone bill in 300 years 

But we ain't really quaint, so please don't point and stare 

We're just technologically impaired 

Photos 

There's no phone, no lights, no motorcar 

Not a single luxury 

Like Robinson Crusoe 

It's as primitive as can be 

We been spending most our lives 

Living in an Amish paradise 

We're just plain and simple guys 

Living in an Amish paradise 

There's no time for sin and vice 

Living in an Amish paradise 

We don't fight, we all play nice 

Living in an Amish paradise 

Hitchin' up the buggy, churnin' lots of butter 

Raised a barn on Monday, soon I'll raise anudder 

Think you're really righteous? Think you're pure in heart? 

Well, I know I'm a million times as humble as thou art 

I'm the pious guy the little Amlettes wanna be like 

On my knees day and night scorin' points for the afterlife 

So don't be vain and don't be whiny 

Or else, my brother, I might just have to get medieval on your heinie 

We been spending most our lives 

Living in an Amish paradise 

We're all crazy Mennonites 

Living in an Amish paradise 

There's no cops or traffic lights 

Living in an Amish paradise 

But you'd probably think it bites 

Living in an Amish paradise 

Yech