Burlington Bertie And Accrington Stanley Lyrics - Waterboys

Said Burlington Bertie to Accrington Stanley "I do not like that Andy Pandy, 

he fancies himself as a regular dandy - let's take him down a stitch" 

But unbeknown to Accrington Stanley and Burlington Bertie Namby Pamby was 

sucking a stick of cinnamon candy and watching from a ditch. 

Said Namby Pamby to Andy Pandy "Let us tell Mahatma Ghandhi that Burlington 

Bertie and Accrington Stanley are up to dirty deeds." 

Said Mahatma Ghandhi to Namby Pamby "You and I and Andy Pandy must enlist the 

aid of Para Handy - he's the fella we need." 

So away they rode - Andy Pandy, Mahatma Ghandhi and Namby Pamby - to the home 

of Para Handy beyond the western wall. 

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Said Para Handy to Mahatma Ghandhi "I'll summon the brothers Handy Andy, 

Dandy Jim and Tony Pandy - experts one and all" 

Said Tony Pandy to Para Handy "Me and Dandy Jim and Handy Andy will bring you 

the head of Accrington Stanley if it be your wish." 

Said Mahatma Ghandhi to Tony Pandy, Dandy Jim and Handy Andy "brin me the 

head of Accrinton Stanley on a silver dish." 

So Handy Andy and Tony Pandy, Dandy Jim and Para Handy caught the villinous 

Accrington Stanley in his pants and vest. 

Said Accrington Stanley "You've caught me red-handed, I'm trounced and I'm 

trumped, I'm stumped and I'm stranded. But before you go and do something 

outlandish grant me one request." 

Said Para Handy to Accrington Stanley "Make it quick and make it handy. In 30 

seconds Handy Andy will remove your wicked head." 

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Said Accrington Stanley "Before you count 30 I'll swear on the grave of my 

great-aunt Gerdie. The man you seek is Burlington Bertie - remove his 

instead!" 

But Para Handy and Tony Pandy, Dandy Jim and Handy Andy, Andy Pandy and 

Mahatma Ghandhi (not to mention Namby Pamby) paid no attention to Accrington 

Stanley and beheaded him - dead!