Cantina Lyrics - Voltaire

Well i went down to Mos Eisley for a converter 

hell ya know how hot it gets on Tatooine 

then i saw that there cantina. I'll go in for an Orangina 

I heard it was rough but how bad could it be? 

When i walked through the door the music stopped...dead 

all manner of man and beast were staring at me 

seems just one week before their twi'lek slave girl walked out the door 

and i guess i was the next best thing they'd seen 

I lost more than my heart in that cantina 

i left my manhood there on Tatooine 

son, it dont mean your weak if ya turn the other cheek 

But if ya spread 'em both for Jabba, son you ain't a man 

Old Hammerhead, he fixed his mind to screw me 

whipped out his tool and nailed me to the bar 

My anus, he destroyed. Now i got me hemroids 

they had to wrench him off my nuts with my nuts with a gaffe bar 

I was hit over the head by old Han Solo 

I'd have never guessed that pirate was a homo 

I woke up next to Chewbaca 

i was smeared in...wookie caca 

and what they did to my poor nipples was a nono 

I lost more than my heart in that cantina 

i left my manhood there on Tatooine 

son, it dont mean your weak if ya turn the other cheek 

But if ya spread 'em both for Jabba, son you ain't a man 

Old Salacious Crumb's so small ya cant detect him 

before i knew it he shoved himself straight in my rectum 

and then just to be heinous he screamed real loud out of my anus 

now i got an anal car alarm and i cant disconnect him 

Old Greedo greedily grabbed his green weenie 

then he yanked that sucker 'till is wasn't so teeny 

he took me into Jabba's hut. He started intently at my butt 

and then he ootatoota'd me with his zucchini 

I lost more than my heart in that cantina 

i left my manhood there on Tatooine 

son, it dont mean your weak if ya turn the other cheek 

But if ya spread 'em both for Jabba, son you ain't a man 

Take it away boys! 

Well a guy walked up and said "My friend doesn't like you" 

i said "Sorry." he said "I dont like ya either ya better watch yourself" 

i think his name was Tom Wates 

and then some old dude who taught vader 

chopped his arm off with his saber 

but later made for one red hot anal invader 

i was broken on the floor beat to a stooper. 

but then i was saved! there at the door was 10 stormtroopers 

but then my hopes faded away...i didn't know they cloned 'em gay 

and they each took turns stormtrooping me in the pooper 

I lost more than my heart in that cantina 

i left my manhood there on Tatooine 

son, it dont mean your weak if ya turn the other cheek 

Which is why i still go there every week!