Tupperware Twang Lyrics - Vital Organ Auction

Yee-haw! 

Sort of! 

Not really! 

Here at the Tupperware Twang Factory: 

Waylon and Williams pics hang crooked 

Mary & Carrie tributes sit by the basement 

They're kept for appearances, not inspiration 

Tight butts, media bodies, and paste faces, 

we didn't bring you here for originality 

You're here to further perfect a market 

that makes us all worthless yet wealthy 

Time for you to stand like deer in headlight lineups, 

to get yerself a gait without gumption or giddyup 

Tupperware Twang, Tupperware Twang 

Here's a gun and there's a gun 

But not a one ever goes Bang! 

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Don't worry about your testes or ovaries 

They'll be kept with your guts at the factory 

Just open wide after the assembly line 

With fixing all finished it's time for feeding 

Our songwriters have saccharine by the sack 

Don't Wynonna if your voices aren't perfect 

Our studios can manipulate them like music 

that leaps onto faces as layers of confect 

If songs sound like gumball machines keep puking, 

console yerselves with cameos of banjo or fiddling 

Tupperware Twang, Tupperware Twang 

Here's a gun and there's a gun 

But not a one ever goes Bang! 

(not a one, not a one); (ever goes Bang!) 

Tupperware Twang, Tupperware Twang 

No need to start making art 

when you're fashioning gold chains 

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Don't none of you go imagining 

your own topics, music, or lyrics 

Just imagine dwindling countryside 

that remembers your former spirits 

And don't none of you go get 

chirping like some Dixie Chicks 

who hear about American freedom 

and actually try to actualize it 

Real stars and real Americans know 

real freedom comes from kissing ass 

When politicians drop their drawers, 

your lips better salute such flags 

True patriots know this nation 

was founded by those who bowed 

before a worldwide empire until 

their brains and hearts fell out 

Tupperware Twang, Tupperware Twang 

Here's a gun and there's a gun 

But not a one ever goes Bang! 

Not a one will ever go Bang! 

But those same guns always 

pop out little white flags 

Factory mice in machinery traps, 

may all your dreams be free 

of any cat dressed in black 

who rises from a record stack 

and shoots your compact disc 

just to watch it snap in half!