Billy, Boney & Ma Lyrics - Singles - Townes Van Zandt

Well, Billy went down to the battleground 

To find a little trinket he could call his own 

Didn't see nothin' lying around 

He decided he'd dig awhile 

Well he dug her up and he dug her down 

'Fore too long he found some bones 

Poor little Billy couldn't make a sound 

When the bones sat up and smiled 

Oh Billy, you seem like a fine young man 

No reason to be a tremblin' soul 

Come over here and shake my hand 

Make my proud acquaintance 

Well Billy, he was stunned he could hardly stand 

Whether he could move, he didn't know 

But he knew he had to formulate some kinda plan 

Or try the boneman's patience 

The first thing he wanted to do was breathe 

So he gulped in some of that battleground air 

Next thing he wanted to do was leave 

But Billy wasn't raised up rude 

Well, the boneman grunted and he gave a heave 

All of a sudden he was loomin' there 

Shakin' off dirt and actin' pleased 

Things didn't look too good 

Well Billy, he decided what the hell 

You don't meet a boneman every day 

A little bit skinny but you never can tell 

He might be a pretty good guy 

Well, they started off with the old soft sell 

'Fore too long they were jawin' away 

By the time the darkness fell 

They were seein' socket to eye 

They decided right then on a life of crime 

With the boneman's looks and Billy's brains 

They could scare old Scrooge out of his last dime 

Might as well have a go 

Billy, he picked the place and time 

From the corner store to the railroad train 

Boney'd flash him a smile sublime 

And Billy he'd grab the dough 

They decided, they might as well start right then 

Time's awastin' so they say 

They headed for the park where the lights are dim 

And only the foolish tread 

He was whistlin' a tune when they spotted him 

Strollin' along, so plump and gay 

Boney gave him a great big grin 

And Billy snagged his bread 

Next come a lady of the night 

Boney saddled up and said hello 

Gave the poor thing such a terrible fright 

She fainted dead away 

Billy lifted her purse and her earrings bright 

Diamond rings and watch you know 

Couldn't figure out, try as they might 

Why they'd ever worked a single day 

Billy's plans ended up in ruin you know 

They were workin' a quaint little neighborhood 

Spied an old lady about eighty or so 

Almost looked too easy 

Boney put on a pretty good show 

'Cause little ol' lady didn't see too good 

My kind Sir your all bones you know 

You need something hot and greasy 

Grabbed ol' Boney drug him inside 

Billy peeked in through the window sill 

She fed him boiled and baked and fried 

Ol' Boney he's chewin' like crazy 

He gobbled up everything he tried 

Pounds added on like you know they will 

Billy laid down in the dirt and cried 

Watchin' Boney gettin' fat and lazy 

Well, Billy's back workin' his job by day 

Sleep'n nights it ain't so bad 

Never liked stealin' anyway 

Kinda gives a guy the willies 

Boney and Ma got a new cafe 

Best baked beans you ever had 

Ma's expecting any day 

And they say they're gonna name him Billy