Rosseta Stoned Lyrics - Tool

Alrighty, then ... picture this if you will. 

10 to 2 AM, X, Yogi DMT, and a box of Krispy Kremes, 

in my "need to know" pose, just outside of Area 51 

Contemplating the whole "chosen people" thingy 

when a flaming stealth banana split the sky 

like one would hope but never really expect 

to see in a place like this. 

Cutting right angle donuts on a dime 

and stopping right at my Birkenstocks, 

and me yelping... 

Holy fucking shit! 

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Then the X-Files being, 

Looking like some kind of blue-green Jackie Chan 

with Isabella Rossellini lips, and breath that reeked of 

vanilla Chig Champa 

Did a slow-mo Matrix descent 

Outta the butt end of the banana vessel 

And hovered above my bug-eyes, my gaping jaw, 

and my sweaty L. Ron Hubbard upper lip, 

and all I could think was: 

"I hope Uncle Martin here doesn't notice 

that I pissed my fuckin' pants." 

So light in his way, 

Like an apparition, He had me crying out, 

"Fuck me 

It's gotta be 

the Deadhead Chemistry 

The blotter got on top of me 

Got me seein' E-motherfuckin'-T!" 

And after calming me down 

with some orange slices 

and some fetal spooning, 

E.T. revealed to me his singular purpose. 

He said, "You are the Chosen One, 

the One who will deliver the message. 

A message of hope for those who choose to hear it 

and a warning for those who do not." 

Me. The Chosen One? 

They chose me!!! 

And I didn't even graduate from fuckin' high school. 

You'd better... 

You'd better... 

You'd better... 

You'd better listen. 

Then he looked right through me 

With somniferous almond eyes 

Don't even know what that means 

Must remember to write it down 

This is so real 

Like the time Dave floated away 

See, my heart is pounding 

'Cause this shit never happens to me 

I can't breathe right now! 

It was so real, 

Like I woke up in Wonderland. 

All sorta terrifying 

I don't wanna be all alone 

While I tell this story. 

And can anyone tell me why 

Y'all sound like Peanuts parents? 

Will I ever be coming down? 

This is so real 

Finally, it's my lucky day 

See, my heart is racing 

'Cause this shit never happens to me 

I can't breathe right now! 

You believe me, don't you? 

Please believe what I've just said! 

See the Dead ain't touring 

And this wasn't all in my head. 

See, they took me by the hand 

And invited me right in. 

Then they showed me something 

I don't even know where to begin. 

Strapped down my bed 

Feet cold eyes red 

I'm out of my head 

Am I alive? Am I dead? 

Can't remember what they said 

God damn, shit the bed. 

Hey ... 

Overwhelmed as one would be, placed in my position. 

Such a heavy burden now to be the One 

Born to bear and bring to all the details of our ending, 

To write it down for all the world to see. 

But I forgot my pen 

Shit the bed again ... 

Typical. 

Strapped down my bed 

Feet cold and eyes red 

I'm out of my head 

Am I alive? Am I dead? 

Sunkist and Sudafed 

Gyroscopes and infrared 

Won't help, I'm brain dead 

Can't remember what they said 

God damn, shit the bed 

I can't remember what they said to me 

Can't remember what they said to make me out to be the hero 

Can't remember what they said 

Bob help me! 

Can't remember what they said 

don't know, won't know God damn, shit the bed!