Masochist Lyrics - Archetype - Tonedeff

(Verse 1) 

Everything happens for a reason 

And my reason to be's to see shit happen for a reason One event to the next 

It's like I'm stuck at the box office with every second my clock tosses 

Into my face, smacked with a case of fate wasted and lost causes 

I've been mocked and accosted, to the point that I got nauseous 

Though my flow's been plugged enough to stop faucets 

I've thought often about tossing this awesome gift to the wind 

And start crossing over to sin with this intention to blend that I get from within 

I've protected my skin with a thin layer of pride and showmanship 

But both my coats are ripped and I can't seem to decide on clothes that fit 

Supposing this rap shit actually pays off, I'm wondering if it'll all be worth it 

Cause this is what everyone in my life has ever been hurt with 

This curse, this evil urge I feel for verses 

Is one of my life's real perversions 

I seal my curtains when I write, I feel disturbance from the light 

I deal with dirt and yet I want to heal the earth and peel the surface to reveal it's perfect 

And words I wield with purpose, and yet nobody follows the plot 

They rather hear me rock off of the top 

There's pitfalls in my socks, so I walk with caution 

Somebody halt the auction! Cause my soul's on sale, and I thought I lost it 

(Chorus 2X) 

If I gotta fight for the rest of my life 

Then I'm gon' turn the other cheek (yeah) 

Cause I hate the way you hurt me 

But I can't get enough of your love 

(Verse 2) 

And who the hell am I supposed to be? 

A holy priest holding a rosary? Some type of bold stoic Moses of poetry? 

Should I be holding heat to pose for the streets 

A total phoney? If I said my name was 'Tony' would you know it's me? 

Supposedly, T-O-N-E flow with ease over these bolder beats 

But the flow's too cheap to pay for groceries 

And in the throws of grief I choke and breathe 

Loaded with my parents hopes and dreams, yet I don't know if we both believe 

I scope the scene, and I'm watching these bills build up 

I'm nice with a day-job, these niggaz write all day and still suck 

And yet they fill clubs, sell a trillion and feel sluts 

I kill dubs, but I don't have the mills to pay for real pub 

My chilled love melts on occasion 

Cause brainwashed niggaz only feelin' my track if Clue or Flex will play it 

Who you expect to say this shit if I don't? 

What? Cause I don't wanna be extorted by some cat who lets cash determine his playlists 

I'm searching for ways in, but entrances are sparse when you're hard to market 

Fuck art, cause thugs aren't the smartest targets 

And I'm not abstract enough, so it seems backpackers are acting up 

And I thought it was half the battle, just to have the love 

And pack a truckload of skills, politics are ill and yo, it's real 

It seems I'm cruising, and they're still using these crooked stones for wheels 

And when you know the deal, it doesn't evoke the most appeal 

Like stolen Kosher Meals, lemme propose a toast to heal 

(Chorus) 

(Verse 3) 

I've sacrificed so many facets of life, just to achieve this 

From Love & definitive reason, to trust in agreements 

My family suffered a grievance when we discussed I was leaving 

Seeming substituted for tunnel vision and it probably crushed all their feelings 

There's something appeasing in the corruption of demons 

Feeding me vehemently lustful delusions of bucks from succeeding 

But times up, months it's exceeded 

Peeling the scabs off of cuts that are bleeding 

knowing I ain't had it as tough as Jesus 

This shit doesn't compete or even touches what he did 

But, will I be signed by 33? Cause my teens were fucking depleted 

Blessed with a gift, equipped to assist in the destruction of heathens 

But, please, would god really want me snuffing emcees, then? (Ha) 

I must be conceited, right? 

Well, I'm balanced out by the lack of self-esteem 

I've felt since I've learned how to read & write 

Overcompensation spelled relief when the rhyme schemes are tight 

Then I feel the weight of a cheapened life when 5, 000 people die 

(SOB! SOB!) Feel bad for the rap artist? 

But pour your soul into something for responses that's half-hearted 

Terminate relationships on the basis of past hardships 

And then you'll see why every review's like another line on my scarred wrist 

This light-hearted voice becomes jailed by the darkness 

It's impossible to trap my lips, when I have to spit 

I try to swim away, but I keep getting dragged back in this 

Come to find my arms automatically swimming backwards, Cause I'm a Masochist 

(Outro 3X) 

If I gotta fight for the rest of my life 

Then I'm gon' turn the other cheek (yeah) 

Cause I hate the way you hurt me 

But I can't get enough of your love