America's Favorite Pastime Lyrics - The Excitement Plan - Todd Snider

Dock Ellis didn't think he would pitch that day 

Back in 1970 

When he and his wife took a trip to the ballpark 

A little bit differently 

So by the time he hit the bullpen 

Half the world had melted away 

That's about the time coach Murtaugh said 

Hey dock your pitching today 

Taking the mound the ground turned into 

The icing on a birthday cake 

The lead off man came up and turned into 

A dancing rattle snake 

The crowd tracked back and forth 

In waves of color underneath the sun 

The ball turned into a silver bullet 

His arm into a gun 

I took a look all around the world one time 

Finally discovered 

You cant judge a book 

Three up three down for three straight innings 

In a zero zero tie 

As all those batters names came ringing 

From some voice out of the sky 

Hallucinating Halloween scenes 

Each new swing of the bat 

His sinker looked like it was falling off a table 

But nobody was hallucinating that 

I took a look all around the world one time 

Finally discovered 

You cant judge a book 

By the top of the seventh he was up one to nothing 

And giving them padres fits 

By the bottom of the eighth he was up two to nothing 

And they still hadn't got any hits 

With one out left to go in the game 

The batter looked like a baby child 

The birthday caking was shaking 

And those waves of color were going wild 

When he finally mowed the last man down 

He was high as he had ever been 

Laughing to the sound of the world going around 

Completely unaware of the win 

And while the papers would say he was scattered that day 

He was pretty as a pitcher could be 

The day dock Ellis of the Pittsburgh pirates 

Threw a no hitter on LSD 

I took a look all around the world one time 

Finally discovered 

You cant judge a book